I’m sure you all know that my passion for repurposing wooden pallets is what helped me survive the breakup with Rick. Wooden pallets are my soul, and I am their mate. I’ve jettisoned far beyond my initial trial and error attempt at a pallet headboard. I’m now selling my creations, and I expect you to buy one. I’ve bought a ton of crap from you guys over the years, and that wasn’t even art. It was Pampered Chef and Scentsy. Here are your choices:

[FYI: Any of these pieces can be constructed using the pallets I found in a haunted warehouse. EXTRA CHARGE!!!]

  • Bali Inspired Pallet Coffee Table with Bong Storage Cubby
  • Quadruple Pallet Trundle Bed for Polyamorous Relationships
  • Feng Shui Franchise Pallets (I sell you a stack of pallets and you resell them.)
  • Morbidly Obese Kitty Pallet Litter Box
  • Pallet Covered in Mason Jars, Just Because
  • Blue Hue Pallet Crate for Capturing/Containing Zombies
  • Ombre Pallet Go-Cart for Weekend Hipsters
  • Rustic Pallet Farm Dining Table with Bonus Live Rooster
  • Rough Hewn Pallet Nightstand with Dildo Storage Cubby
  • “Live, Laugh, Love Without Rick” Decorative Folk Art Pallet
  • Portable Pallet Meth Lab
  • Pallet Shaped Like Your Home State: (I won’t do Idaho, Rhode Island, New York, Kansas, California, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, Tennessee, Alaska, North and South Dakota, or Hawaii. Don’t even ask about Mississippi. I’ve had bad experiences in all of these states.)

NOTE: All pallets have been lovingly reclaimed, repurposed, reused, and retweeted. I accept payment through my website using your Diners Club Card.