Roll eyes and sarcastically mime talking motion with hand, like a sock puppet

Use wristwatch to “accidentally” reflect spot of sunlight into Money’s eyes; feign innocence

Fiddle with keychain and finally remove long-dead, heavily nicked Tamagotchi

Alternately purse and open lips while repeatedly snapping back of forefinger against cheek to make water-drop sound

Complete Jumble puzzle in the free newspaper they give out at the place that sells incense and bongs

Write BULLSHIT BIEBER over and over on Trapper Keeper with a scented marker, dotting the i’s with hearts

Write BULLSHIT ROCKS in Gothic balloon letters festooned with lightning bolts on side of sneaker, adding an umlaut over the u

Hit “refresh” to see if anyone has responded to its witty comment on Gawker

Fake-cough into closed hand while actually saying “Me!”

Scrunch paper wrapper down to end of straw and dribble water on it to make it “grow”

Teach self to do that half-dollar-around-the-fingers thing that gangsters do in movies

Race walk

Listen intently to money, for a change, and maybe actually learn something