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Other Things Bullshit Considers Doing, Instead of Walking, While Money Talks.
Roll eyes and sarcastically mime talking motion with hand, like a sock puppet
Use wristwatch to “accidentally” reflect spot of sunlight into Money’s eyes; feign innocence
Fiddle with keychain and finally remove long-dead, heavily nicked Tamagotchi
Alternately purse and open lips while repeatedly snapping back of forefinger against cheek to make water-drop sound
Complete Jumble puzzle in the free newspaper they give out at the place that sells incense and bongs
Write BULLSHIT BIEBER over and over on Trapper Keeper with a scented marker, dotting the i’s with hearts
Write BULLSHIT ROCKS in Gothic balloon letters festooned with lightning bolts on side of sneaker, adding an umlaut over the u
Hit “refresh” to see if anyone has responded to its witty comment on Gawker
Fake-cough into closed hand while actually saying “Me!”
Scrunch paper wrapper down to end of straw and dribble water on it to make it “grow”
Teach self to do that half-dollar-around-the-fingers thing that gangsters do in movies
Listen intently to money, for a change, and maybe actually learn something
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These Smart Swimming Trunks Automatically Remind You to Be Self-Conscious!
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