FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
The Talon Opens First Los Angeles Location
Your collagen-infused green juice doesn’t have you loopy — everyone’s favorite female-only coworking space and club, The Talon, is coming to a city near you! We are opening in ten new neighborhoods (always in a quarter mile proximity to $15 chopped-salad establishments) this year alone!
Our newest location in Los Angeles could be our favorite yet. Don’t tell New York! The team of founding house members includes the former fact checker at Goop, Nasty Gal’s bankruptcy attorney, and your freshman in college dorm mate that is somehow on the Create and Cultivate speaker circuit. Our casa es su casa! P.S. Becky is hosting a rotating Tacos & Tech night after spending a deeply inspiring 72 hours in Tulum last New Year’s.
We’ve chosen a very select group of female members of the press to get started on their journey to Girl Bossing. To begin, please complete the application at the bottom of this email. The link loads fastest on Google Chrome on a gold or rose gold mini MacBook Air. If you are not in possession of one, don’t worry; we value a little bit of old-school kitsch. Feel free to print out the page, fill it out in calligraphy, and mail it to us using a bespoke postage stamp that best reflects your own inner goddess.
Once you submit your application, one of our rockstar females will go over your application and invite you for an in-person interview. These interviews are conducted Monday-Friday during the hours of 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. We cannot make any timing exceptions as an in-person interview is critical to showcasing your #commitment to becoming part of The Talon crew. It’s the four-hour, self-employed, perma-lance, digital-nomad workweek, baby!
The first fifty bad bitches to apply will receive a voucher for a free blowout at our onsite salon (valued at $80). If you have non-straight hair, please send an email to our intern so we can accommodate you. (This may result in a delay of up to 90 days due to a lack of resources. #StartupGrowingPains)
Once your hair is slayed, powder your hopefully non-surgically enhanced nose in our Fuck Harvey Weinstein bathroom (check out the recycled toilet paper with his face on it!) and wait to head into our Through Rose McGowan Colored Glasses conference room for your interview!
Next steps involve filling out a questionnaire about past trauma, an astrological assessment, and finally, your membership card photoshoot by that hot French-looking art girl you hate-follow on Instagram.
We can’t wait to have you in our coven! Membership dues are due upon acceptance. $2,700 via direct deposit only.
CLICK HERE TO APPLY, BABE.
For all questions, inquiries, and an additional press kit, please email Becky@TheTalon.Yas