The dark turkey meat
Congressional Slip ’N Slide
Autographed footballs
Phone calls during dinner
Re-entry without hand stamp
Choice of two or more toppings at congressional
sundae bar
Free ringtones
Dicking over Native Americans
Lists
- - - -
Send your list submissions to lists@mcsweeneys.net.
See all articles from this column
- - - -
Perks No Longer Allowed to Congress Under the New Proposed Ethics Code.
BY THOMAS HYNES
- - - -
See all articles from this column
SUGGESTED READS
American Policy Suggestions from a Chicago Sports Fan: Congress Should Lockout a Professional Sport Until the Super Committee Reaches a Dealby Matt McKenna (12/8/2011)
A House for Dee Dee
by Christina Nunez (11/19/1999)
List: Acts Prohibited by the U.S. House of Representatives’ Proposed Flag-Burning Amendment
by James Erwin (8/10/2005)
RECENTLY
Why You Are Single: Let’s Do the Mathby Hannah Murphy (9/29/2016)
Monologue: I Wish I Had More Than Eight Minutes With a Patient to Show Him I Don’t Care If He Lives or Dies
by Bryan Duff (9/29/2016)
Key Ring Chronicles: Beaded Bracelet
by Katrina Sotiropoulos (9/29/2016)
POPULAR
It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckersby Colin Nissan (9/22/2016)
Our Tiny Home is Revolutionizing How My Wife and I Fight
by Daniel Carrillo (9/21/2016)
An Honest Intern Application Cover Letter
by Nick Hughes (9/19/2016)
