The dark turkey meat
Congressional Slip ’N Slide
Autographed footballs
Phone calls during dinner
Re-entry without hand stamp
Choice of two or more toppings at congressional
sundae bar
Free ringtones
Dicking over Native Americans
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The dark turkey meat
Congressional Slip ’N Slide
Autographed footballs
Phone calls during dinner
Re-entry without hand stamp
Choice of two or more toppings at congressional
sundae bar
Free ringtones
Dicking over Native Americans