Wife: “Does your wife know?”
Me: “You are my wife; what do you mean?”
Wife: “Ha, ha. It’s a joke.”

W: “When did you get THIS done?”
M: “It’s a Jewish tradition; it’s always been like that.”
W: “I still like the other type better.”

W: “You are! You’re my daddy!”
M: “But I didn’t even ask.”
W: “Yes, but I wanted you to know that I knew who you were anyway.”

W: “What’s your name?”
M: “No, no. You’re supposed to say, ’What’s MY name?’ It’s an assertion of sexual dominance.”
W: “No, that’s not at all what I meant. Never mind.”

W: “You know, the baby doesn’t look like you at all.”
M: “Yeah, maybe.”
W: “He looks a lot like… oh! Ha-ha; funny I never thought of that.”

W: “Herpes is a bitch, huh?”
M: “I wouldn’t know.”
W: “Oh, well take my word for it.”

W: “Dave, Linda’s husband. What’s his story?”
M: “What do you mean?”
W: “He works out, I think.”