This article contains a ranking of candy because it’s Halloween and someone out there is searching “Halloween candy” right now. Seasonal events make people click, search engine optimization is a great way to get clicks, and it’s very important that a lot of people click this article.

Have you heard that the media market is extremely volatile?

Every click counts, and I’m hoping to bring in a lot of clicks with this. It’s a ranking of Halloween candy, two things everyone knows and loves. (Right??!!?!) Help me keep my job a little bit longer. I want lots of clicks so advertisers will buy ad space on this website, even though it will never get as many views as a Google search for “green toe pain.” I’ll keep trying, though. I’m not sure what else to do with the years I’ve already spent trying to build a career in media after graduating from college during a recession.

But this isn’t about me; it’s about you. You need to know what the best candy is for Halloween. Even though you’re 33. With no kids. And totally into keto.

The ranking below features plenty of candies I’m betting you had as a kid. Nostalgia is a drug and so is sugar, so that makes this ranking better than doing the work you’re supposed to be doing at 9:30 a.m. eastern, the best time to have published this story. To encourage you to stay on this page as long as possible, I’m presenting the candies from worst (candy corn) to best (not telling you yet!!). Engaged audiences are valuable audiences so I will do whatever I can to keep you looking at this ranking for as long as possible.

You’ll see I’ve made some bold, wrong choices in this definitive ranking. There are even some newfangled candies on here — I think you’ll find that some sound good while others sound completely pointless. That’s the idea! Announce your disagreements loudly and often on Twitter and Facebook. I need your friends and, actually, your parents and their friends to click on it, too.

And, Google, if you’re watching: this article is good. I wrote “Halloween” and “candy” in it a lot. It’s absolutely the best Halloween candy to buy kit-kat-reeses-twix-candy-corn.

50. Candy Corn
49. Dum-dums
48. Lifesavers gummies
47. Hershey’s bars, plain
46. Almond Joy
45. Purple Skittles bag
44. Lifesavers
43. Milky Way
42. Smarties
41. Three Musketeers
40. Tootsie Rolls
39. Tootsie Roll Pops
38. Hershey’s bars, gold
37. M&Ms, plain
38. M&Ms, pretzel
36. M&Ms, peanut butter
35. M&Ms, dark chocolate
34. M&Ms, almond
33. M&Ms, dark chocolate peanut
32. M&Ms, crispy
31. 100 Grand
30. Milk Duds
29. Jolly Ranchers
28. Sour Patch Kids
27. Sugar Babies
26. Big League Chew
25. Hershey’s Bar, cookies and cream
24. Nerds
23. Rolos
22. PayDay
21. Warheads
20. Airheads
19. Reese’s Miniature Peanut Butter Cups
18. Twizzlers
17. Krackel
16. Mounds
15. M&Ms, peanut
14. Oreo Bar
13. The Reese’s where they put Reese’s Pieces into the Reese’s Cup
12. Hershey’s Kisses
11. Blow Pops
10. Snickers
9. Butterfinger
8. M&Ms, dark mint
7. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
6. Individual Starbursts, of various colors
5. Red Skittles bag
4. Nestlé Crunch
3. Twix
2. M&Ms, Glow-in-the-dark peanut
1. Kit Kat