SUPERMAN: “Tupperware goes on the TOP RACK ONLY.”
BATMAN: “Tupperware can go wherever you want it to go!”

- - -

SUPERMAN: “Always tip at least 20% at a restaurant.”
BATMAN: “Tips are not an entitlement, they are service-based!”

- - -

SUPERMAN: “Green Day is one of the most overrated bands in existence.”
BATMAN: “You just don’t GET Green Day.”

- - -

BATMAN: “Roll down the top of the cereal bag or the cereal will go stale.”
SUPERMAN: “We finish cereal so quickly it’s not going to get the CHANCE to go stale!”

- - -

BATMAN: “Taking a bath is relaxing after a long day.”
SUPERMAN: “Sitting in your own filthy bathwater is disgusting.”

- - -

SUPERMAN: “You should always rinse bagged salad before eating it.”
BATMAN: “Does the term ‘triple-washed’ mean nothing to you?”

- - -

SUPERMAN: “SuperPacs are destroying the American justice system!”
BATMAN: “You don’t know what you are talking about.”

- - -

SUPERMAN: “Jennifer Garner is a terrible actress.”
BATMAN: “She just needs better roles!”

- - -

BATMAN: “I really think I could pull off a bolo tie.”
SUPERMAN: “Nope.”

- - -

BATMAN: “It’s a dry heat.”
SUPERMAN: “Tell that to my spit curl.”

- - -

SUPERMAN: “No gadgets at the dinner table.”
BATMAN: “I’m Batman. Literally my entire outfit is gadgets.”

- - -

BATMAN: “How can The Bachelor be sexist if they also do The Bachelorette?”
SUPERMAN: “Are we even watching the same show?”

- - -

SUPERMAN: “Just… okay… just massage the kale.”
BATMAN: [Kicks Superman in the face.]