The early bird gets the worm, like Chris in international sales, who gets to the office a couple minutes before nine every morning, so it looks like he’s this real go-getter to David, but he always leaves at five on the dot, whereas I have delayed sleep-phase disorder and have greater sleep requirements than the average person, so I have trouble making it in by 9:15, but I’m constantly staying till seven or eight, yet I’m discriminated against even though I’m working much more overall than Chris, and if we just had a work structure in place to accommodate people like me, then the late bird would get the worm and the brown-nosing early bird would be the one getting talked to by David on a monthly basis.
MCSWEENEY'S QUARTERLY SUBSCRIPTIONS
“An enduring literary presence.”—Chicago Tribune
“Brilliant and always surprising.”—Detroit Free Press
Use the code TENDENCY at checkout for $5 off.