• Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate
McSweeney’s
Internet Tendency
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
McSweeney's Quarterly Subscriptions

A nine-time finalist and three-time winner of the National Magazine Award for Fiction. Subscribe to McSweeney’s Quarterly today. Use the code TENDENCY at checkout for $5 off.

October 27, 2017

[REDACTED]

by Dan Caprera

 

  • Confidential
  • Us Government
  • Military
As little as $1 a month ($12 a year!) goes a long way towards supporting our editorial staff and contributors while keeping us ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.
Become a patron
Share
Tweet
 
➤

The Unfortunately Truthful Résumé of a Young Female Professional

➤

Dick Solutions: A Seven-Day Program for Dick-Free Success!

Suggested Reads
  • March 23, 2004
    An Open Letter to Sergeant Smith
    by Mathias Kom
  • June 30, 2011
    In These Deserts: War Stories From Afghanistan: Column 15: Topsy-Turvy Land, Part 2
    by Nathan Bradley
  • April 11, 2007
    The Convergences Contest: Beauty Queen and Baghdad Hummer
    by Lawrence Weschler
  • November 26, 2001
    Character in Harry Potter Books, or Current U.S. Navy Rear Admiral?
    by Geoff Brown
Trending 🔥
  1. May 13, 2022
    Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
    by Susan Perabo
  2. November 13, 2018
    If People Talked to Other Professionals the Way They Talk to Teachers
    by Shannon Reed
  3. May 2, 2022
    Welcome to the Middle-Aged Restaurant. Please Stop Complaining
    by Wendi Aarons and Denise Schipani
  4. May 2, 2016
    I Would Rather Do Anything Else Than Grade Your Final Papers
    by Robin Lee Mozer
Recently
  • May 20, 2022
    How Oizys, Greek Goddess of Misery, Spends Her Sundays
    by Dan Toomey
  • May 20, 2022
    My Prediction That Political Attacks Against Me Will Escalate Has Nothing to Do With Me Exposing Myself to a Flight Attendant
    by Devorah Blachor
  • May 20, 2022
    Diseases All Woodmont Alumni from 1971 to 2021 Should Immediately Be Screened For
    by Jason Roeder and Mike Sacks
  • May 20, 2022
    Babies Need to Pull Themselves Up by Their Tiny Bootstraps
    by Bobbie Armstrong
“A key barometer of the literary climate.”
—The New York Times
In their own unique and unforgettable way, each storyteller examines our crisis of access to care in ways that are at turns haunting, heartbreaking, and outright funny.
Our first-ever McSweeney’s Internet Tendency e-book exclusive: Welcome to Woodmont College, out today from the minds of Mike Sacks and Jason Roeder.
After a half decade away, the award-winning The Believer is coming back to McSweeney's beginning in November 2022.
McSweeney’s is an independent nonprofit publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, Illustoria and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. You can support us today by making a donation.
  • Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate
  • About Us
  • Events
  • Email Newsletter
  • Advertise
  • Store Policy
  • Contact Us
  • Internships
  • Submission Guidelines
Copyright © 1998–2022, McSweeney’s Literary Arts Fund.
All Rights Reserved.
  • Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate
 

The Believer is coming home!

A twelve-time finalist for National Magazine Awards, The Believer will resume publication here at McSweeney’s this November. Now we need your help hitting the ground running. Back us on Kickstarter to lend a hand, and be among the very first to receive the official homecoming issue. Welcome back.

×