PUTIN: Good to see you again, Alexander Sayonaravich. A former KGB man is always welcome at the Kremlin.

SAYONARAVICH: Even when he defected in London, sold Soviet secrets, and only came home during Gorby’s glasnost? I could hardly believe my ears when the driver you sent told me. Such a large and insistent man, too. He wouldn’t take no for an answer.

PUTIN: After all, why shouldn’t you come? All is forgiveness, thaw, and openness here. This is the anniversary of your defection, right? I thought this meal an appropriate way to mark the event. Have some buttered yams.

SAYONARAVICH: Oh, I couldn’t, Mr. President. My cholesterol is borderline.

PUTIN: (Waving the plate of yams at Sayonaravich.) Call me Colonel Putin. And I insist.

SAYONARAVICH: Since you are so kind. (Accepts a serving of yams and takes a bite_.) But, my, these take the moisture right out of my mouth. And a tumor seems to have sprung from my throat in no time. (_Falls to the floor dead, taking a platter of bread with him.)

PUTIN: Never trust a KGB man. Especially when he’s me.