Tiny tunic, wee robe, itsy bitsy sandals,
In a manger, in a stable, light the candles,
A donkey will bray, sheep will baa,
Followers pray, magi say ahh!
Let the scrolls shout this perception,
This beatific babe is a Miss conception,
In deism or theism none will be comparable,
Golly Galilee, it’s the Enfant Parable!
IT’S A BABY SHOWER FOR:
DATE: December 23
TIME: High sun
WHERE: The Inn
GIVEN BY: Womenfolk
Come enjoy a light lunch of fasting and supplication, followed by gifts and games!
Mom does say that Baby is fine for myrrh and frankincense but could use onesies or an exersaucer!!! Keep in mind that the feel of Baby’s nursery is rustic. The décor is unfinished wood and dirt floors displaying a realistic animal motif.
Also, we’re making a “Questions Quilt” for Mommy! Guests are asked to sew a cloth square with a bit of favorite advice on it, in the form of a question Mary might have as a new mom. Then put your answer on the back of the square — so easy! Example: front — “How do I get the baby to stop crying?” Back — “Hold baby and sing.” Or front — “Baby sermonizes and makes town elders mad — help!” Back — “Hugs, hugs and more hugs.” FYI, we’ve already got “What do you do when they come to crucify your son?/Pray and weep” and “How do you feed a child who won’t touch food for 40 days?/He’ll eat when he’s hungry.” Please choose a light or navy blue for your cloth square.
Time & Date
Guess the minute, hour and day Baby will arrive and win an earthen jug or other prize! Guess the minute, hour and day of Baby’s death, and win an all-expenses-paid trip to exciting Rome, as a special guest of the Emperor himself!
How many different words can you make out of Bottle? Blanket? Leper? INRI? An amphora of wine or honey water goes to the wordsmith.
Can you diaper in a dash? With just one hand? On a goat? We’re going to see who the queen of the quick change is among us. Winner gets the goat.
Bring string — we’re measuring Mommy’s middle, and whoever guesses her girth gets a “coupon” good to be raised from the dead one day, or a pretty trinket.
Each guest will receive a baby rattle upon arrival. When everyone has gathered, a list of everyday actions will be declared “forbidden” for the duration of the party. If you catch someone in the off-limits action, they have to turn their rattle over to you. The person with the most rattles wins something special! Actions on the “forbidden” list will include brushing hair behind ear, straightening your skirt, experiencing an epiphany, and spontaneously speaking in tongues while writhing about in ecclesiastical ecstasy.
Head north towards the hill. Follow the pebble road just past the temple then turn left at the three hovels. You’ll see a wise beggar to your right, then a false messiah preaching on the corner. Make another right just past the false messiah, and enter the second door on your left by the grazing horse (note: do not pet horse).
Please RSVP by December 22.