Are you introverted, socially anxious, or just kind of awkward? Do some of the social interactions required during travel stress you out, and yet, after surviving the winter you’d like to get away? At Less-Awkward Adventures, we understand the overthinking that travel can bring. Book one of our spring getaway packages and let us do the mental agonizing for you.
Our guests always arrive at their destinations via one of our special transport options:
Anti-Social Airways: No more need to summarize the plot of the book you are reading to a stranger when you fly our anti-social skies. Our special seats can be reconfigured into groups to accommodate only you and any traveling companions that you are still talking to. Once you board, a soundproof steel enclosure holding a variety of self-serve drinks and snacks will drop around you for the duration of the flight. When you arrive at your destination, simply exit via the inflatable slide that will drop down from your window.
Thoughtful Rideshare: Getting from the airport to your destination with our unique rideshare service. Fill out a pre-screening questionnaire to be connected with a driver who is matched with your exact interests — genuinely compelling conversation topics, local restaurant recs, or complete silence. For a small extra charge, you can also be fitted with our behavior modification unit to allow you to instantly speak the local language or ensure you don’t panic and blurt out something about the weather.
When you book with Less-Awkward Adventures, before departing there is no need to read dozens of contradictory articles about how much and who to tip. Our telepathic tipping service transfers money directly from your account to the account of the person providing travel assistance without you having to make eye contact. Simply telepathically acknowledge that you would like to tip, and an amount that follows tipping conventions for the location will automatically transfer to the person’s account.
We have a variety of great getaway options for you to choose from!
Girls Gone Mild: This spin on a traditional spring break creates the first club experience that won’t make you break out in hives. Our resort features a warehouse space with lounge seating and non-seizure-inducing lighting. Your favorite emo tracks will be spun by a DJ who is also a librarian, and the cages that normally hold dancers will be stocked with back issues of the New Yorker for you catch up on. Guests also love our pet T-shirt night, where cute animals in clever T-shirts can be brought to your table for you to pet while you’re sipping a cocktail.
Solo Cruises: Go wherever you want on this special, rustic cruise built for one! When you choose one of our ships, you’ll never have to chat with a stranger about their prostate problems in a buffet line. You’ll always be the first to eat and get the best room on the boat, because there is only one. Please Note: Guests on Solo Cruise must know how to swim, row, sail, spearfish, and have a captain’s license.
Pet Bed and Breakfast: Do you like the idea of staying in a quaint, historic house in New England but fear having to walk down a set of creaking stairs past a host or other guests every time you leave? Our Pet Bed and Breakfast sidesteps all your worries because it is staffed entirely by talking animals. A friendly hypoallergenic cat works the reception desk and is asleep 90% of the time, one of our sled dogs will carry your luggage to your room, and our chef is that refined rodent from Ratatouille. No need to worry about other guests, because who else would want to stay in a BnB run by animals?
FauxCation: At FauxCation, we take care of everything you need to make it look like you are enjoying a vacation away when in reality you are spending the week lying on your couch in pajamas binge-watching The Great British Baking Show. Each day, a personal chef will leave a gourmet meal on your doorstep and pick up any dirty dishes. We will post curated vacation photos of you on a beautiful beach to your social media accounts and set up a Home Alone-style series of booby traps for would-be robbers or solicitors. After all, sometimes the least awkward vacations are no vacations at all.
We look forward to booking a trip for you! Feel free to reach out via email or text — we, of course, promise to never ever call you on the phone.