The Heart Wears a T-Shirt in the Pool

The Heart Needs to Ask the Receptionist for a Tampon

The Heart Has Gas Pains

The Heart Plays Clarinet

The Heart Lies About Its Height on OkCupid

The Heart Always Has Pit Stains

The Heart’s Upper Lip Gets Stuck to Its Dry Teeth When it Smiles

The Heart’s Leggings Have a Hole in the Crotch

The Heart Only Pretends to Read the New Yorker Fiction

The Heart’s Yogurt Exploded in Its Purse

The Heart Had an Allergic Reaction to Nair

The Heart Poses With Its Tongue Out When It’s Drunk

The Heart is Worried That the Dry Shampoo Isn’t Fooling Anyone

The Heart’s Glasses are Always Crooked

The Heart Gets Red Wine Teeth

The Heart Can’t Tell if it Has Bad Reception or People Just Aren’t Texting it Back

The Heart Struggles to Maintain Critical Distance

The Heart Grinds Its Teeth at Night

The Heart Tucked Its Skirt Into Its Tights

The Heart Got Scolded By Its Manicurist

The Heart Can’t Get Anyone to Join Its Carson McCullers Book Club