Dear Winsted Academy Parents,

We’ve received quite a few questions concerning our recent announcement that the Seventh Grade science curriculum will no longer include Earth Science, but instead focus solely on the study of Melting Things. To respond to these questions, and to build enthusiasm for this exciting change, we have compiled some basic information about the new curriculum:

Core objectives in Melting Things. Your child will not only leave Melting Things class having seen many different Things Melt; he or she will learn many valuable life lessons. Here are a few questions that the curriculum is designed to answer:

  • Once I’ve started Melting a Thing, should I give up mid-Melt or continue to Melt that Thing until I have accomplished a complete Melt? (Learning Outcome: following through to achieve goals.)
  • How long should I wait after I’ve Melted a Thing to touch the Melted remains of that Thing? (Learning Outcome: patience and risk assessment.)
  • If I am camping with friends, and I get separated from my group, how can I use grubs, berries and twigs to Melt a Thing? (Learning Outcome: survival.)

The science behind Melting Things. In a perfect world, there’d be plenty of time to Melt Things and discuss how and why all of the Things Melt the way they do. But, with our thirty-minute class blocks, it’s just not realistic. So, we’ve decided to approach this from a less-talking-more-Melting angle.

The use of multimedia while Melting Things. At Winsted, we are always looking for ways to incorporate technology into our classes. Melting Things will be no different. We will use the Internet to find videos of Things that we will be unable to Melt in the classroom due to geographical and legal limitations. Students will be required to keep a Melting Things photo blog to chronicle the Things that they Melt for homework assignments (which will include some rigidly-structured Guided Melts as well as some more open-ended Free Melts). Students will be required to tag each Melted Thing picture with descriptive phrases such as “Hard To Melt” or “Melted Fast” or “Looked Gross While Melting.” They will continue to update these photo blogs every week until sometime before spring vacation, when we melt the computers.

What you’ll need for Melting Things at home. In order to assist your children with the Things that they will Melt, please be sure you are equipped with the following: goggles; flame-resistant shoes; flame-resistant pants; thick gloves; an oven; a good mop you don’t mind ruining; cement floors; a basic understanding of liquids and solids; Titanium Melting Chamber (for special controlled Melts); flame-resistant shirt (optional); good ventilation; a well-thought-out exit strategy; a melt-resistant stick to poke Things as they Melt; the ability to read lips (in case you need to communicate while a Thing Melts loudly); back-up goggles; gas masks; and, most-importantly, a positive Can-Melt attitude.

Melting Things metaphorically. Working with the Language Arts and Drama departments, we will conduct experiments in metaphorical Melting. Projects may include hiring a child actor and introducing him as the mysterious and handsome new addition to the class. His suave demeanor and charming smile will Melt the hearts of the young ladies. After we reveal his identity and discuss how he made us feel, we will watch videos of actual human hearts heated to the temperature at which they Melt as a comparison.