I’m leaving your mother.
I had a vasectomy.
I did a lot of cocaine in the ’80s.
I got married last week.
I’m having angioplasty tomorrow.
I may be going to prison.
I thought you were doing Weight Watchers.
December 6, 2006
Things My Father Has Said to Me in Crowded Restaurants
As little as $1 a month ($12 a year!) goes a long way toward supporting our editorial staff and contributors while keeping us ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.