“I hate to be the bearer of bad news.”
I live for this kind of thing.

“I’m sure they’re doing everything they can.”
I haven’t read a single reputable source about this.

“Your uncle is susceptible, I hope he doesn’t get it.”
He would deserve it after what he did to our mother.

“I’ve been in self-quarantine.”
I’m on my way to mass.

“If I contracted it, I wouldn’t expect you to take care of me.”
I made your stepfather clear your childhood bedroom.

“How are you, sweetheart?”
Have you heard from your brother?

Have you heard from your brother?
He never calls and you will forever bear the burden for it.

“We’re keeping you in our prayers.”
Rough time to be an atheist, isn’t it?

“Just a little short of breath, nothing to worry about.”
I have COVID-19.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.”
I’m scared.