McSweeney’s Internet Tendency’s 3rd Most-Read Article of 2016

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“I don’t have a TV!”

“I never eat meat!”

“I walk ten miles a day!”

“My diet is making me lose a lot of weight!”

“I use my own waste to grow food!”

“My children aren’t vaccinated!”

“I have a very small carbon footprint!”

“I don’t vote — the system is too corrupt!”