“Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world, and post them on Instagram.”

“A good phablet is the precious lifeblood of a master spirit.”

“To not have Wi-Fi is not miserable; not to be able to bear not having Wi-Fi, that is miserable.”

“Death is the golden key that opens the palace of a poorly rated Airbnb.”

“Who overcomes by unfollowing on Twitter, hath overcome but half his foe.”

“Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience in the comments section of an acquaintance from high school’s Facebook post.”

“Beauty is nature’s brag, and must be shown in courts, at feasts, and on Pinterest.”

“Deep-versed in emojis and shallow in himself.”