It’s the thought that counts, so let me just “think” about buying Jim and Stacy a gift from their wedding registry. Just kidding, we’ll get them something. Are we at the age now where you have to spend a hundred bucks? At minimum, right? Plus airfare and hotel, and his bachelor party and her shower. Jesus, these fucking people. You don’t even like Stacy, and Jim’s okay, I guess, but if I never spoke to him again, I wouldn’t exactly be, like, mourning it. It’s settled, we’re getting them the flatware set. It’s $80. Shipping is an extortionate $22.50. That counts.
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