“Trump told two demonstrable falsehoods this AM, one about his administration’s policy of separating undocumented immigrant kids including infants from their parents, which he tried to claim wasn’t his own policy. The other was falsely claiming his own aide didn’t give a big briefing.” — New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman

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Untruth: Not the opposite of the truth, but simply a different lens through which to observe the truth, i.e. a microscope or telescope or kaleidoscope or View Master (remember those?)

Fabrication: Similar to an untruth, except not at all, which is to say: a true untruth, or an untrue truth, or a truth that looks like an untruth but is actually a truth in Groucho glasses and a wig.

Fib: The adorable way one’s baby nephew pronounces “bib”

Deception: It is wise to remember that one man’s deception is another man’s perception! Let ’em chew on that one for a while.

Obfuscation: Just a jumble of syllables. Go ahead and slip it in there, no one knows what it means.

Perjury: A federal crime, but remind readers that, to be fair: who among us has not committed a federal crime? Don’t ask us! Not because we don’t know, but because we will not tell you.

Exaggeration: The truth, but a lil bit more! And who doesn’t want more truth?

Misrepresentation: This is a loaded word, so be careful here. For the sake of clarity, tack on this addendum to every single article and tweet: “there are always three sides to the story: yours, mine, and whatever the hell I decide to print depending on what precisely is convenient for me.”

Falsification: That which is false. But who is to say what is true and what is false? Is there even such a thing as objective reality? Are we not all living our distinct versions of the truth, which are all false in their own unique ways? We must burrow down this infinite philosophical rabbit hole before we report on anyone doing anything anywhere.

Taradiddle: From Old English, of Germanic origin: a lie.