Thank you for reading this walkthrough for the Keo Ruug Shrine in Zelda: Breath of the Wild. This walkthrough is specifically for one shrine only, and also intended for 30-somethings. The 30+ crowd struggles with basics that most gamers don’t encounter because younger people are supposed to waste their time playing games so they’re not off vandalizing public property or accidentally impregnating someone. People in their 30s should have other responsibilities besides playing video games, and therefore might require extra help. It’s strange, I know. Anyone above the age of 26 without a job (and I’m guessing adults with enough spare time to play this Zelda game are currently unemployed) were somehow able to navigate the website, but for some reason this puzzle is causing a hiccup in their day. That’s fine. I hope to put this in terms anyone over 30 can understand, even though they should probably be reading anything else.

No spoilers. I promise. This walkthrough will only cover the Keo Ruug Shrine, and will not contain anything about the plot, a plot that was written for teenagers who need an escape from the drudgery of high school, not a plot for adults with expendable incomes who, if they felt like it, could be traveling the entire world right now instead of playing a video game. If the fact that this game was designed for children doesn’t spoil the game for you, then this walkthrough won’t spoil it either. Additionally, unlike most gaming systems, I won’t keep track of how many hours you’ve spent reading this walkthrough instead of, say, learning a language or watching your child grow up.

The shrine is located in the center of The Lost Woods in the North/Central area of the world map. If you need help finding it, imagine driving back when you didn’t have a GPS. You’re old enough to remember what this was like. You have to look at the roads, and decide for yourself when to make a left or right. If you think hard, you’ll remember how to do it. The Lost Woods themselves are even more difficult to navigate, as there is no map available at all and each wrong step you take may wrap you in a magic fog and force you to start from the beginning. Much like the opaque job market, this area will frustrate you, and you’ll feel like you aren’t making much progress. Don’t fret. Unlike the years you’re doomed to sit at a desk wondering if you’re getting ahead or falling behind in your chosen career path, The Lost Woods should only take about a minute to make your way through. Simply follow the magnetic rocks to the pond where the shrine is located.

No special skills are required for this shrine, much like there are no special skills required to apply to entry level positions at, say, Buzzfeed or a publisher where you could put your degree in English Literature to good use. You’ll notice right when you walk into the shrine that there are constellations covering the walls. They are likely more decorative than anything you’ve been able to decorate your own home with in real life, but don’t let that distract you from the task at hand. (Side note on constellations: taking Astrology seriously and checking your horoscope every morning would actually be a more productive use of time than playing this game.)

If you look forward through the Sheikah Slate, you will see some constellations on a far wall that correlate to the ones on the first wall. All you have to do is count how many times each one appears on the far wall, and place an orange ball in the corresponding hole numbered by the blue torches to your right and left. It’s a menial task, much like doing data entry or teaching a child to count which, I must emphasize, you should be doing right now if your kid is old enough to learn that.

Once the balls go in the correct slots, the entrance to the monk will open, and you can retrieve the spirit orb.

Optional: once you’re beyond the first door, you’ll see another wall of constellations. Before solving this second puzzle, however, pause for 5 minutes and consider grad school. Maybe you could find something more lucrative if you got your MFA or even a Law degree? Something to think about. After you’ve considered this, and even googled a few programs, continue the puzzle the same way you solved the first one: look at the wall and count the constellations, maybe think about the last time you physically went outside at night and looked at real stars, then put the balls in the corresponding slots that match the number of constellations you see.

This will open yet another entrance to a small room that contains a chest. The chest contains a Knight’s Claymore, one of many weapons in the game that quickly deteriorates with use, and will break and disappear as if it had never existed, much like the human body. Life is very short. Before you know it, you and all your loved ones will be dust. Remember that while you play this game.

I hope you found this walkthrough helpful! Please visit my Patreon page if you’d like to support my endeavors on this site. I’ve written thousands of these walkthroughs for free, and would love your support in writing more. I’m 45 and live with my mother. My goal is to convert my old bedroom to a home office some day.