If you’re reading this, it’s because I wrote something funny on Twitter and it really took off. If you like what you see, toss me a favorite. If you love what you see, smash that retweet button. If you’re really feeling inspired, tag a friend and write BIG MOOD. It’s pretty amazing how a silly human truth can resonate with hundreds and thousands of people, huh? The Internet is an amazing place.
Now that we’ve gotten acquainted, it’s time to get down to business. The first item on the agenda is my Soundcloud channel, which you’ll find linked below as a “shameless promotion.” Don’t let my self-aware quip fool you, I’d really love for you to listen to that mixtape. A lot of people have said it’s “🔥” and assured me it just needs more exposure. Right now I edit SEO keywords, but I’d love to actually earn money from music.
Speaking of money, you’ll also notice a GoFundMe page for my uncle’s knee surgery. He was recently laid off and his health insurance is about to expire. Until he has a new knee, he cannot rejoin the workforce and the surgery costs more than his depreciated condo is worth. Please consider donating to this stranger that our health care system has failed.
Thank you again for checking out my viral tweet. No one could have predicted it would get this big. Just look at all my friends writing “wow this really blew up haha” and “don’t forget about me when you’re famous!”
But I also never anticipated the backlash. When I playfully suggested that all male DJs live with their parents, I was not being literal. I know that many male DJs live on their own. And seemingly all of them came out of the woodwork to make that known in the thread.
Okay, that’s all. Actually, wait. Someone just screenshot my tweet, removed my handle, and posted it on a popular meme account @It_Literally_Me. Now it has five times as many retweets as my original post and is being featured on Shareable’s “Best Of The Week” roundup. Oh well. As long as people got a laugh from my silly musings, then I guess it was worth—
WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK! The meme account also posted an Indiegogo for an underserved community garden. Now everyone is going to donate there and meanwhile, my uncle still has no knee. I should clarify: I wholeheartedly support that cause and would encourage everyone to donate to both if they have the means. It’s just that this was originally my pulpit. I’m the one who wrote the tweet. What’s the point of tweeting if you don’t even get to choose how to wield the power of the viral sword?
I’m sorry for losing my temper, it’s just — one-off-shower-thoughts on Twitter are this broken nation’s only hope for redistributing resources. And now? Now I don’t even know anymore. I guess I’ll go back to the painfully slow and disheartening strategy for social change: voting.