Howdy pardners, and welcome to version 4.5.2 of the Westworld kernel. Guests have a ton of adventure to look forward to this season, so check out all the changes below and come on down to see how the west… was fun!

General Updates:

- All hosts now have access to exciting new soup recipes

- Reduced price of horse food

- Lowered chlamydia rate in hosts to 1 in 3

- Increased gonorrhea rate in hosts to 1 in 3

- Horses will smile more

- Hosts will now act weird and sinister sometimes

- Hats smell nicer

New Features:

- 10 incredible new storylines including “The Haberdasher’s Quandary” and “Showdown at Spooky Gorge”

- 3 new zones to explore: “Diablo Mesa,” “Red Wall Gulch” and “Guthrie’s Hat Cave”

- Exciting new horse breeds to discover, tame, and have sex with

- Hosts now have memories and will be able to access years of cumulative evil done unto them

- Bigger hats!

- Guns that guests can have sex with

Bug Fixes:

- “Legends of Hero Canyon” storyline no longer crashes if the bear sits on the mayor

- Fixed bug where one cowboy talked like an old-timey mobster

- Fixed bug where Sex Spree Bonus Multiplier points did not accrue properly

- Rain now goes all the way to the ground instead of stopping a few feet in the air

- Fixed bug where player pianos only played Good Charlotte songs

- Removed violence limiter in hosts which was causing a conflict with the “Goofy Gus and the Prickly Pear” storyline

- Fixed bug where hats stop working