Words That Could Conceivably Be Used to Describe Both Scalps and Scallops - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

Internet Tendency

Daily humor almost every day since 1998.

Daily humor almost every day since 1998.

The Believer Magazine

Subscribe today to climb aboard this unstoppable train of a literary journal.

Tender
Dry
Burnt
Soft
White
Seared
Flaky

Please help support our writers and keep our site ad-free by becoming a patron.

Become a patron

Subscribe to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency’s Substack

Suggested Reads

November 5, 2001

Nine Words Probably Not Ever Found in Personal Ads

by Melissa Bell
May 16, 2012

Statement from the Chairman Regarding Recent Losses

by Ben Greenman
June 19, 2019

Things Bougie Customers Say to Their Server At an Overpriced Seafood Restaurant On the Jersey Shore

by Lindsay Haber
May 14, 2024

I’m the Word “Utilize” and I’m Loving Every Moment of Your Overblown Rhetoric

by Christina Wang

Trending 🔥

April 21, 2025

Getting Ahead of It: JD Vance Almost Definitely Didn’t Kill the Pope

by Eli Grober
April 25, 2025

This Five-Hundred-Word Bumper Sticker on My Tesla Explains Why I’m Not a Bad Person

by Lia Woodward and Leah Folta
April 17, 2025

1925 or 2025?

by Carlos Greaves
April 9, 2025

US News & World Report’s Best Remaining Colleges, 2028

by Andrew Marshall

Recently

April 30, 2025

Our University Is Replacing DEI with Vibes and Vaguely Diverse Stock Photos

by Carla M. Lopez
April 30, 2025

This Bank Robbery Is a Safe Space

by Ash Diggs and Jennie Egerdie
April 29, 2025

Don’t Worry, We Were Prepared for Our Policies to Be Extremely Unpopular, Because They Are Very, Very Bad

by Ginny Hogan
April 29, 2025

We’re the Pro-Family Party; We’re Also Deporting Families

by Carlos Greaves