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Articles by
Michael Ward
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March 28, 2022A Streaming Service Fantasy Series Director’s Speech to the Cast and Crew at the Start of Filming
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August 9, 2021Excerpts from The 48 Laws of Power…for Cats
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May 21, 2021The Netflix Algorithm for Parenting
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February 19, 2021The Best Games to Play with Your Children after Nearly a Year in Quarantine
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January 27, 2021AITAs for Parents of Young Children
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October 31, 2019A Complete Classification System For the Different Actions That Follow Your Four-Year-Old Yelling “Dad, Watch This!” At You From Across the Room
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September 9, 2019Famous Movies Rewritten For Parents of Young Children On Their First Date Night Since Their Youngest Child Entered the Four-Month Sleep Regression
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February 6, 2019Please Listen Carefully, Because Our Menu Options Have Changed and Are Also a Hellish, Kafkaesque Experiment Developed to Test the Effects of Psychological Warfare
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October 18, 2018Fresh Middle-Ground Alternatives Between NIMBY and YIMBY
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August 10, 2018Tips for Watching the Perseid Meteor Shower with Your Toddler, as Written by Someone Who Has Never Seen a Meteor Shower and Who Has Never Interacted with a Toddler for More Than a Few Minutes
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June 14, 2018The Top Ten 2018 Men’s World Cup Teams Ranked By How Easily the First Lines of Each Country’s National Anthem Could Be Slipped Unnoticed Into Expository Voiceover In a Lord Of The Rings Movie
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March 19, 2013A Memo to Investors in 11D Technologies, Inc
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian