Michael Ward

A Complete Classification System For the Different Actions That Follow Your Four-Year-Old Yelling “Dad, Watch This!” At You From Across the Room

Famous Movies Rewritten For Parents of Young Children On Their First Date Night Since Their Youngest Child Entered the Four-Month Sleep Regression

Please Listen Carefully, Because Our Menu Options Have Changed and Are Also a Hellish, Kafkaesque Experiment Developed to Test the Effects of Psychological Warfare

Fresh Middle-Ground Alternatives Between NIMBY and YIMBY

Tips for Watching the Perseid Meteor Shower with Your Toddler, as Written by Someone Who Has Never Seen a Meteor Shower and Who Has Never Interacted with a Toddler for More Than a Few Minutes

The Top Ten 2018 Men’s World Cup Teams Ranked By How Easily the First Lines of Each Country’s National Anthem Could Be Slipped Unnoticed Into Expository Voiceover In a Lord Of The Rings Movie

A Memo to Investors in 11D Technologies, Inc

Words That Could Conceivably Be Used to Describe Both the Super Bowl and a Superb Owl

Your Proposed Design For The New Roosevelt Elementary School

The Race For Junior Class Vice President Goes Negative

Words and Phrases I Hope Never Appear in Front of My Name in Print

The Weekly Column of a Local-Newspaper Ombudsman Attempting to Communicate His Marital Frustrations Through His Work