Articles by
Michael Ward
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March 19, 2013A Memo to Investors in 11D Technologies, Inc
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February 3, 2011List: Words That Could Conceivably Be Used to Describe Both the Super Bowl and a Superb Owl
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May 9, 2007Your Proposed Design For The New Roosevelt Elementary School
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November 6, 2006The Race For Junior Class Vice President Goes Negative
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January 13, 2006List: Words and Phrases I Hope Never Appear in Front of My Name in Print
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August 18, 2005The Weekly Column of a Local-Newspaper Ombudsman Attempting to Communicate His Marital Frustrations Through His Work
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May 12, 2005List: Fun Facts About Chinese President Hu Jintao, as Conveyed by American Culture
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January 28, 2005List: New State Names Resulting From the Coming Wave of Mergers and Acquisitions
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August 27, 2004List: E-mail Addresses It Would Be Really Annoying to Give Out Over the Phone
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August 23, 2004List: Words That Could Conceivably Be Used to Describe Both Sherpas and Sherbet
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April 28, 2004Create Your Own Thomas Friedman Op-Ed Column
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March 19, 2004List: Suggested Masters Thesis Titles Making Use of Puns on a 1983 Marvin Gaye Classic
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August 17, 2017As Your Doctor, I Am Protesting the Removal of Your Tumor Because I Don’t Want to Erase Your Medical History
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August 3, 2017And God Created Millennial Earth
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August 9, 2017I’m a Google Manufacturing Robot and I Believe Humans Are Biologically Unfit to Have Jobs in Tech
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July 31, 2017Please Forgive Us at Blue Apron for This Week’s Meals. We’ve Been Having a Tough Time Lately
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August 18, 2017I Mean, I Can’t Even With This Solar Eclipse
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August 18, 2017The Alt-Left’s Radical Agenda
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August 18, 2017Monologue: I’m Ivanka Trump, and I Cannot Believe You Fucking Morons Keep Falling for My Bullshit
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August 18, 2017List: 7 Outfits That Will Tell Your Therapist How You Really Feel