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Articles by
Michael Ward
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March 28, 2022A Streaming Service Fantasy Series Director’s Speech to the Cast and Crew at the Start of Filming
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August 9, 2021Excerpts from The 48 Laws of Power…for Cats
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May 21, 2021The Netflix Algorithm for Parenting
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February 19, 2021The Best Games to Play with Your Children after Nearly a Year in Quarantine
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January 27, 2021AITAs for Parents of Young Children
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October 31, 2019A Complete Classification System For the Different Actions That Follow Your Four-Year-Old Yelling “Dad, Watch This!” At You From Across the Room
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September 9, 2019Famous Movies Rewritten For Parents of Young Children On Their First Date Night Since Their Youngest Child Entered the Four-Month Sleep Regression
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February 6, 2019Please Listen Carefully, Because Our Menu Options Have Changed and Are Also a Hellish, Kafkaesque Experiment Developed to Test the Effects of Psychological Warfare
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October 18, 2018Fresh Middle-Ground Alternatives Between NIMBY and YIMBY
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August 10, 2018Tips for Watching the Perseid Meteor Shower with Your Toddler, as Written by Someone Who Has Never Seen a Meteor Shower and Who Has Never Interacted with a Toddler for More Than a Few Minutes
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June 14, 2018The Top Ten 2018 Men’s World Cup Teams Ranked By How Easily the First Lines of Each Country’s National Anthem Could Be Slipped Unnoticed Into Expository Voiceover In a Lord Of The Rings Movie
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March 19, 2013A Memo to Investors in 11D Technologies, Inc
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November 13, 2018If People Talked to Other Professionals the Way They Talk to Teachers
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May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
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May 2, 2022Welcome to the Middle-Aged Restaurant. Please Stop Complaining
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May 2, 2016I Would Rather Do Anything Else Than Grade Your Final Papers
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May 19, 2022This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Two of Us, Partner—So I’ll Just Leave Then. Enjoy the Town!
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May 19, 2022Dorm Room Checklist for New Woodmont Students
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May 19, 2022I Know What’s Best For You All Over the World: Guilt Lessons and Other Poems
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May 19, 2022I Regret to Inform You That I Can Get Pregnant with My Legs Closed