The Princess Bride
(Run time: One hour and 38 minutes)
Buttercup falls in love with a farm boy. She immediately asks him to marry her. They marry. Peter Falk plays one game of tic-tac-toe with Fred Savage and then leaves. One hour and 30 minutes of silent credits.
Star Wars: A New Hope
(Run time: Two hours and five minutes)
Darth Vader correctly calculates that diplomatic fall-out from killing Princess Leia will be minimal and blows up her shuttle. Several galactic senators express their deep concern over the incident. Two hours of silent credits.
Jurassic Park
(Run time: Two hours and seven minutes)
A group of scientists visits an island where a company has used DNA trapped in amber to revive dinosaurs. Because they are not morons, the managers of the company have only bred herbivores. The scientists marvel at the dinosaurs and return home. Two hours of silent credits.
Jaws
(Run time: Two hours and 10 minutes)
A pair of drunk teens take a late-night dip in a pond in the landlocked town of Amity. The police chase them out because town bylaws prohibit night swimming in this pond. Two hours of silent credits.
Avatar
(Run time: Two hours and 42 minutes)
Knowing that committing genocide on an indigenous alien race on Pandora would lead to severe legal trouble back on Earth, the corporation trades goods and education for unobtainium with the Na’vi. There is absolutely no need whatsoever for human/Na’vi hybrids operated through some sort of magically linked genetically identical humans. Two hours and 30 minutes of silent credits.
The Matrix
(Run time: Two hours and 16 minutes)
Neo takes the blue pill. Two hours of silent credits.
Titanic
(Run time: Three hours and 15 minutes)
The ship leaves port 0.00001 degrees further to starboard. It crosses the Atlantic and arrives in New York. All the passengers disembark without incident, except Leonardo DiCaprio, who is detained and then immediately deported. Three hours of silent credits.