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Articles by
Gary M. Almeter
Gary M. Almeter is an attorney who lives in a quaint and cozy neighborhood in Baltimore, MD with his wife, three children and beagle. His short stories, essays and humor pieces have appeared in McSweeney’s, Writer’s Bone, the Good Men Project, 1966, and Splitsider. He is the recipient of the Maryland Writer’s Association’s 2015 Creative Nonfiction Award."
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February 7, 2020Who Are You Wearing?!?!?
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September 5, 2019Predictions for Every NFL Team
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July 2, 2019Honest Fla-Vor-Ice Freeze Pops Flavors
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September 28, 2018Rejected Lyrics from Earth, Wind & Fire’s 1978 Hit Song “September”
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August 21, 2018Amusement Park Roller Coaster or Apt Description of How I Perceive Myself When I Wear My Salmon Slacks?
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April 11, 2018Paul Ryan Index
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April 6, 2018What Your Favorite Beer Says About You
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March 26, 2018I’ll Ping You
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February 1, 2018Rick James’s Long Lost Annotations to His 1981 Hit Song “Superfreak” Reveal What He Really Wanted to Record Was an Anthem of Female Empowerment
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December 15, 2017Logical Reasoning Questions: My Dream Dinner Party
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November 17, 2017Senate Bill No. 69-2017 – The Peremptory and Preemptive Senator Self-Nicknaming Act
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July 12, 2017I Am Trump’s Lawyer’s Lawyer’s Lawyer’s Lawyer and Would Someone Please Tell Me What the Fuck I Am Supposed to Be Doing?
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May 21, 2020A Note From Your University About Its Plans for Next Semester
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May 18, 2020I Was In Charge of the Deck Chairs On the Titanic, and They Absolutely Did Need Rearranging
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May 12, 2020Here’s How Time Works Now
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May 15, 2020A University President Responds to Those Who Have Suggested the School Should Dip Into the Endowment
