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Articles by
Gary M. Almeter
Gary M. Almeter is an attorney who lives in a quaint and cozy neighborhood in Baltimore, MD with his wife, three children and beagle. His short stories, essays and humor pieces have appeared in McSweeney’s, Writer’s Bone, the Good Men Project, 1966, and Splitsider. He is the recipient of the Maryland Writer’s Association’s 2015 Creative Nonfiction Award."
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December 7, 2020Yes, The Silence of the Lambs Is a Christmas Movie
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November 19, 2020What I Have Always Imagined Being on the Set of Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again” Video Shoot Was Like
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February 7, 2020Who Are You Wearing?!?!?
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September 5, 2019Predictions for Every NFL Team
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July 2, 2019Honest Fla-Vor-Ice Freeze Pops Flavors
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September 28, 2018Rejected Lyrics from Earth, Wind & Fire’s 1978 Hit Song “September”
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August 21, 2018Amusement Park Roller Coaster or Apt Description of How I Perceive Myself When I Wear My Salmon Slacks?
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April 11, 2018Paul Ryan Index
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April 6, 2018What Your Favorite Beer Says About You
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March 26, 2018I’ll Ping You
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February 1, 2018Rick James’s Long Lost Annotations to His 1981 Hit Song “Superfreak” Reveal What He Really Wanted to Record Was an Anthem of Female Empowerment
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December 15, 2017Logical Reasoning Questions: My Dream Dinner Party
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April 13, 2021An FAQ About Your New Birth Control: The Music of Rush
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April 9, 2021The Five Stages of Grief When Dealing With No Longer Being Able to See the “Scoop, There It Is” Geico Commercial
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April 9, 2021An Open Letter to My Children Regarding the Commencement of Asynchronous Parenting
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April 16, 2021As a Republican, I Believe White Men Are Boys, Boys of Color Are Men, and Underage Girls Are Consenting Adults