McSweeney's Quarterly Subscriptions
“A key barometer of the literary climate.”
—The New York Times
Articles by
Gary M. Almeter
Gary M. Almeter is an attorney who lives in a quaint and cozy neighborhood in Baltimore, MD with his wife, three children and beagle. His short stories, essays and humor pieces have appeared in McSweeney’s, Writer’s Bone, the Good Men Project, 1966, and Splitsider. He is the recipient of the Maryland Writer’s Association’s 2015 Creative Nonfiction Award."
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December 15, 2017Logical Reasoning Questions: My Dream Dinner Party
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November 17, 2017Senate Bill No. 69-2017 – The Peremptory and Preemptive Senator Self-Nicknaming Act
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July 12, 2017I Am Trump’s Lawyer’s Lawyer’s Lawyer’s Lawyer and Would Someone Please Tell Me What the Fuck I Am Supposed to Be Doing?
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July 6, 2017Quiz: How Ugly, Gross and Stupid Do You Look When You Eat Corn on the Cob?
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May 12, 2017Commencement Speech Index
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April 7, 2017Suggested Activities for National Coffee Cake Day
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February 9, 2017I’m an Anthropomorphic Lady Jar of Mayonnaise and I’m Ready to Play Steve Bannon on Saturday Night Live
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January 11, 2017I am Now the DJ at Trump’s Inaugural Ball and I Just Got a Memo That These Urine-Themed Songs are Now Verboten
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November 7, 2016I’m the DJ for Hillary Clinton’s Election Night Victory Party and Here is My Awesome, HRC-Approved Playlist
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September 16, 2016Vogue Asked Kendall Jenner 73 Questions and Yet We Still Know Nothing About Her Thoughts on Gerrymandering. Here Are Seven Additional Questions We Demand She Answer. Now
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October 5, 2015A Guide to All the Jesuses
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August 21, 2015The Price Is Right Game or Slayer Song?
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September 2, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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September 22, 2021It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 7, 2021A Short Quiz for My Students in Lieu of Asking About Their Vaccine Status or Requesting That They Wear Masks
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September 8, 2021Wake Up, Sailors, Scurvy Is a Hoax