Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
SETLISTS FOR YOUNG VOICES
The auction is live! Bid now on signed setlists by Janelle Monae, REM, Wilco, Patti Smith, Mitski, and other great musicians to help support youth-writing centers around the world. Click here for more info and to make a bid.
Articles by
Gary M. Almeter
Gary M. Almeter is an attorney who lives in a quaint and cozy neighborhood in Baltimore, MD with his wife, three children and beagle. His short stories, essays and humor pieces have appeared in McSweeney’s, Writer’s Bone, the Good Men Project, 1966, and Splitsider. He is the recipient of the Maryland Writer’s Association’s 2015 Creative Nonfiction Award."
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February 9, 2017Monologue: I’m an Anthropomorphic Lady Jar of Mayonnaise and I’m Ready to Play Steve Bannon on Saturday Night Live
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January 11, 2017List: I am Now the DJ at Trump’s Inaugural Ball and I Just Got a Memo That These Urine-Themed Songs are Now Verboten
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November 7, 2016List: I’m the DJ for Hillary Clinton’s Election Night Victory Party and Here is My Awesome, HRC-Approved Playlist
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September 16, 2016List: Vogue Asked Kendall Jenner 73 Questions and Yet We Still Know Nothing About Her Thoughts on Gerrymandering. Here Are Seven Additional Questions We Demand She Answer. Now
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October 5, 2015A Guide to All the Jesuses
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August 21, 2015List: The Price Is Right Game or Slayer Song?
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June 8, 2015List: Winning Quilt Block Patterns at the 2015 Ballz-Out Quilter’s Society’s Annual Symposium
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May 22, 2015List: Batting Heckles Uttered by the Dad On My Son’s Little League Team Who is a Meteorology Professor and Whose Research Interests Include Cloud-Based Analytics for Spatio-Temporal Data With a Primary Focus On Climate, Hydrological and Ecological Sciences
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April 10, 2015List: Subtle Things 2016 GOP Presidential Candidates Can And Should Do Right Now to More Thoroughly and Most Convincingly Evoke the Reagan Years
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February 26, 2015List: Lacrosse Term, Obscure Sex Act That Frat Guys Always Claim to Do, Sweet Corn Variety, or Automotive Term With an Arbitrary Proper Noun In Front of It?
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December 11, 2014List: Other Things, In Addition to Love, Air Supply’s Muse Can Make Out of Basically Nothing at All
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October 23, 2014List: Vanity Plates the Unidentified Subject of Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” Should Consider Getting For His Next Car
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April 25, 2019You Have Failed Our Dog Adoption Vetting, But Have You Considered Having a Child Instead?
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April 25, 2019List: If We Treated Everyone’s Bodies the Way We Treat Pregnant Women’s Bodies
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April 25, 2019Help! Our Idea Has Legs!
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April 25, 2019Interviews With People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs: Jim Hamilton Promoted Jerry’s Jar of Combs