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Articles by
Gary M. Almeter
Gary M. Almeter is an attorney who lives in a quaint and cozy neighborhood in Baltimore, MD with his wife, three children and beagle. His short stories, essays and humor pieces have appeared in McSweeney’s, Writer’s Bone, the Good Men Project, 1966, and Splitsider. He is the recipient of the Maryland Writer’s Association’s 2015 Creative Nonfiction Award."
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May 22, 2015Batting Heckles Uttered by the Dad On My Son’s Little League Team Who is a Meteorology Professor and Whose Research Interests Include Cloud-Based Analytics for Spatio-Temporal Data With a Primary Focus On Climate, Hydrological and Ecological Sciences
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April 10, 2015Subtle Things 2016 GOP Presidential Candidates Can And Should Do Right Now to More Thoroughly and Most Convincingly Evoke the Reagan Years
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February 26, 2015Lacrosse Term, Obscure Sex Act That Frat Guys Always Claim to Do, Sweet Corn Variety, or Automotive Term With an Arbitrary Proper Noun In Front of It?
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December 11, 2014Other Things, In Addition to Love, Air Supply’s Muse Can Make Out of Basically Nothing at All
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October 23, 2014Vanity Plates the Unidentified Subject of Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” Should Consider Getting For His Next Car
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September 15, 2014Other Things Sheena Easton’s Baby Takes in Addition to the Morning Train
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July 18, 2014Episodes from Season 4 of Little House On the Prairie Reimagined to Reflect the Presence of a Starbucks in Walnut Grove
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July 7, 2014Other Reasons Bananarama Thinks That Summer is Cruel But Couldn’t Squeeze Into Their Song Regarding Same
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April 16, 2014Other Individuals Who Were at the Copacabana the Night That Rico Shot Tony (or Vice Versa), But Whose Presence Was Apparently Not Significant Enough to Warrant Inclusion in Barry Manilow’s Song
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February 14, 2014Alternate, and Ultimately Rejected, Titles Suggested by Pat Benatar’s Record Company for Her Opus, “Love is a Battlefield” in Reverse Order of Rejection
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April 26, 2021Vaccine Side Effect, or Have You Just Been Alive for 40 Years?
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November 13, 2018If People Talked to Other Professionals the Way They Talk to Teachers
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May 6, 2021I’m the Judge Who Approved the Custody Arrangement in The Parent Trap, But in My Defense, I Didn’t Think They Would Go to the Same Camp
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April 13, 2021An FAQ About Your New Birth Control: The Music of Rush