Articles by
Jacob Rosenberg
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September 29, 2017Acknowledgements Page for My Awesome Reply to a Trump Tweet
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April 14, 2017The Modern Confessions of St. Augustine
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October 6, 2016A College Applicant’s Love Letter
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February 22, 2016Jeb Bush Drafts a Cover Letter
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November 20, 2015Monologue: The Only Thing Stopping Me from Making This Hamburger Helper is a Crippling Fear of Failure
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September 11, 2015The Kid Who Talks Too Much Daydreams About the First Day of Class
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August 17, 2015We Are Now At the Point In This Argument Where I Realize I Am Wrong
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April 4, 2018Fifty-Six Questions for Young MC Upon Hearing “Bust a Move” for the First Time in Twenty-Two Years
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April 10, 2018List: Horoscopes for Librarians
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March 19, 2018I’m Going to Close This Deal Using Business Words I’ve Heard Men Yell in Airports
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April 6, 2018We Deeply Regret Hiring the Perpetrators of the Salem Witch Trials as Opinion Columnists
Recently
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April 19, 2018A Poem About Your University’s Absolute and Unwavering Appreciation of Its Faculty in Spite of Said Faculty’s Crap Salaries
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April 19, 2018List: Things I, an Affluent White Cis Male, Have Gotten Away With In a Starbucks
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April 19, 2018The Diary of a Settler of Catan
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April 18, 2018The First Female President