McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Non-Essential Mnemonics
In this space, writer Kent Woodyard shares all the mnemonics
you’ll never really need to remember.
To view this column offline, check out Kent’s first book, Non-Essential Mnemonics: An Unnecessary Journey Into Senseless Knowledge.
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June 14, 2010Non-Essential Mnemonics: Stop crying. Never cross Stevie Wonder. Muzzle that hurtful, nasty woman: Pelosi. Nuke Moscow. Soooooo overdue. Never trust Malaysian geishas to giggle well. They giggle horribly. After Clinton, this nation didn’t fix itself. I fixed it!
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June 2, 2010Non-Essential Mnemonics: Clinton and Monica Did… Stuff. Conservative Americans Got Angry. Britney Became a Sex Symbol/Pretend virgin. Creed Concerts Almost Rocked. Justin Bieber Was Born
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May 19, 2010Non-Essential Mnemonics: Bam
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May 5, 2010Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Teacher, gunslinger, magician, intrepid bohemian, lover, cartoonist, and king.”
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April 14, 2010Non-Essential Mnemonics: People say alcoholism is a sickness. Pssh. Not at all! Jack Daniels frappuccinos, Everclear cookies, amaretto ’n cereal… sounds awesome!
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March 29, 2010Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Bad acting, jerky dialogue, possessed Locke. Anyone else lost? JJ’s ‘symphony’ now celebrates rampant confusion, smoke monster escapades, and Lockean demon magic.”
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March 16, 2010Non-Essential Mnemonics: McKinley, National, Town, Apollo, Summit, Olentangy
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March 2, 2010Non-Essential Mnemonics: Pr, Wi, Mo, Iga, Suv, In, Mi
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February 16, 2010Non-Essential Mnemonics: Obama Can Barely Spell “petroleum.” Bush Could
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February 2, 2010Non-Essential Mnemonics: Milk, Perrier, Zima, Kahlua, Vodka, Straw
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January 20, 2010Non-Essential Mnemonics: “More rum,” demanded the matador. “Damn the tequila. Just rum—Jamaican and bitter.”
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January 6, 2010Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Mike likes hannah!! SOOOO JEALOUS!!!!!! J/K mikes creepy & rude. R U joking? gross. EEE-WWWW!!!!!!!!”