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All posts tagged
harry-potter
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March 15, 2020An Update Regarding the Opening of the Chamber of Secrets
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December 26, 2019Professor Minerva McGonagall’s Letter to the Tenure Committee
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October 29, 2019Booing Voldemort at the Triwizard Tournament Demonstrates Hogwarts’ Lack of Civil Discourse
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July 31, 2019I Took the “Discover Your Patronus” Test On Pottermore and Got Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy
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March 18, 2019More Wizard Facts We Wish J.K. Rowling Had Kept to Herself
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September 11, 2018I, Lucius Malfoy, Have Regularly Considered Leaving the Death Eaters
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August 21, 2018Key Ring Chronicles: Hagrid Figurine
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January 23, 2018Just Because Voldemort Assembled an Army of Warlocks to Destroy All Muggles, It Doesn’t Mean He’s “Anti-Muggle"
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August 8, 2016An Exclusive Excerpt from Harry Potter and the Cursing Child
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June 28, 2016I Was the One Who Bought George Zimmerman’s Gun
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April 13, 2021An FAQ About Your New Birth Control: The Music of Rush
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April 16, 2021As a Republican, I Believe White Men Are Boys, Boys of Color Are Men, and Underage Girls Are Consenting Adults
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April 9, 2021The Five Stages of Grief When Dealing With No Longer Being Able to See the “Scoop, There It Is” Geico Commercial
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April 9, 2021An Open Letter to My Children Regarding the Commencement of Asynchronous Parenting
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April 23, 2021Shakespeare Finds Out About the “Shakespeare Authorship Question” from Walter Mondale
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April 22, 2021Our Company Is Committed to Going 100% Carbon-Free By the Year 3000
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April 22, 2021I Will Gladly Explain Why I Hate The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Just As Soon As I Finish Reading All 22 Pages
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April 22, 2021Cassandra Speaks Up