After much consideration, it has become clear that to ensure the safety of Hogwarts faculty, staff, and students from an unknown mythical creature bent on murderous intent, all courses will immediately begin migrating online. Furthermore, to minimize the risk of widespread homicide, all large gatherings of students, including all Quidditch matches and meals in the Great Hall, will be suspended indefinitely.

This proactive policy is focused on stopping the further petrification of students. Fortunately, there have been no confirmed deaths among our faculty, staff, and students. But cases of petrification have been increasing in the school, and our experts say intervention is the best option to limit the damage.

Some might argue that we should have acted with more haste. Yes, it is true that the school has known about the myth of a secret chamber for centuries and in that time, we could have used magic or simple powers of deduction to try to locate it. And yes, the chamber had been opened once before and a student was killed. And yes, we have witnessed multiple students and at least one cat turn to stone. But I’d argue that it is unfair to judge our actions by their results. Also, I’ve shown myself to be a person who repeatedly puts children in harm’s way for unconvincing reasons.

I realize some parents might worry that a move to online classes could hinder their child’s learning, but I hope to reassure parents that students can learn most of the material taught at Hogwarts by reading books and by waving a wand around while randomly shouting out words. In fact, class time here is mostly passed by students squabbling, sharing gossip, and randomly throwing chemicals into boiling cauldrons while they attempt to ignore the instructions of their teachers. That said, we remain committed to our faculty and intend to bring most of them back once this threat passes.

Although I might have appeared omniscient, all-powerful, and strangely, all-knowing at fortuitous and seemingly convenient times in the past, I assure you that I am a mortal and can die just as easily as anyone else, say, by falling off a building.

I anticipate that once we neutralize this threat, students will be allowed to return to our school and will enjoy, especially while at Hogwarts, a long period of safety for many more years to come.

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore
Order of Merlin (first class)
Headmaster, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards
Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot