mnemonics

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Hey. Idiot. Give me exact change.”

Non-Essential Mnemonics: Most Tourists Can’t Distinguish Between the Famous Hilton Sisters and Random Other Slutty Celebrity Starlets. Paris, Nicky, Lindsay Lohan, Heidi Pratt, Whoever Else—All are Identically Classless to the Typical Foreigner

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Hey, hotties. Can you make babies? Excellent! Message me. Baby making virtually guarantees betrothal.”

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Britney Spears poops solid gold.”

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Michael’s ego redefined team sports” – Magic Johnson

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Helicopters are so stinkin’ nice!”

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Now you see!” said Crystal. “No one likes Kanye West.” A valid point, David confessed privately. But still—freaking Crystal—she didn’t like any hip-hop besides Mos Def

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “So, maybe this week they’ll fire Seacrest.”

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Nothing compares—in scope, noise, and excitement—with March Madness. Some people say college sports stink. What?!?! Shutup!”

Non-Essential Mnemonics: Speedos, Mustaches, Hairy Legs, ABBA. Europe’s Got Problems, No Doubt. But Let’s Cut It Some Slack. It’s Still Recovering From Colonial Revolts, Plagues, Usurping Kings, & Greece’s Latest Fiscal Bonfire