“Oh, for crying out loud.”
For fuck’s sake. Is this a fucking joke?

“Get outta town.”
Are you fucking kidding me?

“Ya gotta help me out here.”
Come the fuck on.

“Well how ’bout that!”
That’s fucking great! Holy shit!

“Boy, I hear ya.”
Shut the fuck up.

“Excuse me?”
The fuck did you just say?

“Dang it.”

“Doggone it.”

“Well, shoot.”

- - -

This is an excerpt from Taylor Kay Phillips’s humor book A Guide to Midwestern Conversation, a bitingly funny illustrated guide to the language of the landlocked, celebrating the common phrases and sentiments of the American Heartland. Based on the Guide to Midwestern Conversation series originally published by McSweeney’s Internet Tendency.