“Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price has taken at least 24 flights on private charter planes at taxpayers’ expense since early May, according to people with knowledge of his travel plans and a review of HHS documents..” — Politico, 9/23/17

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Dear Secretary of Health and Human Services Tom Price,

We here at LuxJet value your loyalty as a frequent flyer of our private aircraft.

We know that you have many options when you’re traveling as a cabinet member — from flying commercial to just renting a Toyota Corolla like your predecessors — and your consistent use of tax dollars on our fleet of private jets and luxury planes means a lot.

Because you travel on private planes so often, we’re excited to inform you that you’ve been pre-approved for the LuxJet Diamond credit card from American Express. This is an opportunity for you to earn great benefits when you charter one of our planes — on top of that big benefit where you get to fly for free on a private jet at taxpayers’ expense.

The LuxJet Diamond card is generally reserved for hedge fund owners, Hollywood superstars, and members of the Saudi royal family — you know, the people who normally take private jets. But you’ve proven over the last year that you can fly private with the best of them!

As a thank you, you’ll receive 20,000 bonus miles after you spend $400,000 on private flights in your first three months — which shouldn’t be a problem for a high-roller like you. We’ll also send you a fabulous LuxJet tote bag so that you can tell everyone, “Hey world: Just because I travel for government work doesn’t mean I’m not also living like a character on the show Ballers.”

We’ve made the card application process fast and easy, because we know that you’ve got a busy schedule — whether you’re visiting a clinic that’s next to a country club you belong to, or you’re giving a 15-minute lecture in the city where you happen to own a summer home.

And with the LuxJet Cardholder app, you can book private air travel on-the-go. Now, you can reserve a $17,000 Learjet from D.C. to Baltimore in less time than it takes you to say, “Couldn’t I have just taken a Greyhound?”

In addition to the bonus miles and tote bag, you’ll also receive the following unbeatable benefits:

  • DOUBLE miles on any flights booked to major cities that you obviously could have flown Delta to!
  • One free COMPANION PASS if you want to take along a family member or lobbyist from Merck!
  • 2% CASH BACK when you book travel between two cities that are less than 100 miles apart!
  • FREE PRINTING at Kinko’s for any governmental forms declaring you couldn’t find a cheaper flight on Hotwire!
  • UNLIMITED EXTRA CARDS in case EPA Director Scott Pruitt loses his!
  • And much more!

The LuxJet Diamond Flyer card delivers the convenience and rewards that you crave as a jet-setting policymaker whose travel dollars come out of the national budget.

But this limited time offer won’t last forever. Apply now for your LuxJet Diamond credit card — before the Democrats’ investigation into your department’s spending really gains steam.