“You’ll have to excuse me.”

“I almost attempted to pass as Canadian but, at this point, it involves too much stretching.”

“I’m relieved enough to be abroad that I will refrain from commenting on how small your bathroom is and why dinner starts so late.”

“Please say we still look amazing.”

“Actually that was another apocalypse and they filmed it near a street where I grew up!”

“Remember the niceness is both artificial AND genuine.”

“We’ve made some progress. In many states, they use silencers.”

“Frontierland seemed like a good idea to us too!”

“If you think I’m a stranger here, you should see how I currently don’t fit in back home.”

“I was joking about applying for political asylum, but… do you think it could work?”

“We take a different approach to cause-and-effect, which helps explain the Electoral College and Thanksgiving.”

“Let’s agree that the exceptionalism means I can cut the meal with my fork.”

“It sounds like you think you’re better than us which makes this evening competitive. Must I remind you that we play dirty?”

“I realize I’ve just demonstrated one of our deeper cultural problems. But first tell me: what do the words Brooklyn USA embroidered on your sweatshirt mean to you?”

“How about the word like conjugated in your own language?”

“I hope you’re getting a sense of our trademark confidence.”

“Our inferiority complex is also bigger.”

“In any case, it takes a people united by gritty resolve and boundless imagination to vault the most self-destructive citizen we could find to the top.”

“Nope. I’m the only one here who’s allowed to use the term climactic shitshow of unchecked solipsism.”

“Fortunately, I’d never presume to speak for all of us.”

“If it’s any consolation, I brought a gift of hot sauce. It’s made by legendary musician Patti LaBelle. That’s her face there on the bottle. I’m not sure you can appreciate how wonderful. It may be the very best of us.”

“Oh, our humor isn’t for laughing anymore.”

“Can I offer one last apology that will absolve everything?”

“Okay fine. Your turn to pretend that the impossible dream is still possible.”

“I really should be leaving. Again.”

“Watch what happens when you try to tear yourself away.”