• Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate
McSweeney’s
Internet Tendency
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
The Believer has returned

Subscribe today to climb aboard this unstoppable train of a literary journal.

September 14, 2018

Best Man’s Speech For Brett’s Second Wedding

by Dan Caprera

 

  • Weddings
  • Best Man
  • Speeches
  • Editing
Please help support our writers and keep our site ad-free by becoming a patron today!
Become a patron
➤

Puerto Rico Is Just a Theory

➤

Men In Tech to Work With and/or Go On Tinder Dates With Before You, a Woman In Tech, Get Fed Up With This Industry and Leave San Francisco Forever

Suggested Reads
  • May 10, 2010
    To the Cult I Inadvertently Started Last Night
    by S.H. Carlyle
  • September 7, 2010
    A Hot Air Balloon Captain Addresses His Crew On the Eve of a Very Important Hot Air Balloon Race
    by Pat Kewley
  • May 10, 2005
    Song Titles, Before Editing for Language Efficiency and Clarity
    by Jack Schneider, Moses Rifkin, and Paul Sacchetti
  • July 6, 2023
    What Your Choice of Wedding Registry Gift Says About You
    by Max Davison and Kate Mickere
Trending 🔥
  1. September 22, 2023
    It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
    by Colin Nissan
  2. September 28, 2023
    A Template for Right-Wingers Upset with Taylor Swift
    by Devorah Blachor
  3. September 15, 2023
    Son, You’re Old Enough to Know the Truth, There is No Such Thing as the “Invisible Hand of the Market”
    by Kathryn Baecht
  4. September 22, 2023
    Welcome to Rosalita’s Boarding House for Girls and Women Rescued by Bruce Springsteen from Dead-End Small Towns
    by Talia Argondezzi
Recently
  • October 2, 2023
    Thank You for Submitting Your Homeless Shelter Application, but We’ve Decided to Use City Funds for Thirty-Five New Pickleball Courts Instead
    by Andrew Maust
  • October 2, 2023
    McSweeney’s Books: A Conversation with Dave Eggers About His Book, The Eyes and the Impossible
    by Taylor Norman
  • October 2, 2023
    If Burger King’s Jingle “Whopper Whopper” Were the Only Literary Form
    by Stephen Ruddy
  • September 29, 2023
    I’m Your Three-Year-Old Interior Designer and This Is Your New Home Makeover
    by Joe Petro
McSweeney’s is an independent nonprofit publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, Illustoria and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. You can support us today by making a donation.

We are committed to our environment. Each year, we purchase carbon offsets commensurate with our estimate of the impact of the printing, shipping, and travel necessary to publish our books and magazines. We are continually working to minimize our impact on the planet by examining every business decision through a lens of sustainability. To support this effort, or to learn more, please write to executive director Amanda Uhle.
  • Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate
  • About Us
  • Events
  • Email Newsletter
  • Advertise
  • Store Policy
  • Contact Us
  • Internships
  • Submission Guidelines
Copyright © 1998–2023, McSweeney’s Literary Arts Fund.
All Rights Reserved.
Search Magnifying Glass
  • Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate