Children should be seen and not heard—hey, where’s Tommy? Has anyone seen Tommy? I just assumed he was here, not making a sound, but… seriously, I can’t find him. I’m getting worried now. Yes, I looked in the restroom. Jonas, I’m telling you, he’s not here. Could he have left the restaurant? We would’ve seen him, don’t you think? Don’t blame me—if you hadn’t drunk a bottle of wine, maybe you’d have noticed him leave. Wait—he’s under the table. He was there the whole time. Tommy, never do that again, do you hear me? If you’re going to climb under the table, tell us before you do it and keep reminding us every minute or so that you’re down there.
ONE SMALL BLOW AGAINST ENCROACHING TOTALITARIANISM
“Trump is so shockingly off-putting that my parents and I have been forced together, awkwardly floating on the same life raft with the other multigenerational dupes.” — Jesse Eisenberg
December 6, 2012
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