DON’T CRY
U GOT THIS
I ROCK
ME 4EVA
ONE DAY
MASTURB8
NOKCUPID
ME+NETFLIX
<3 BREAK
HOLD ON
IT GTS BTR
FUCK ‘EM
TIME 2 SHINE
U R BTFUL
RLY, DON’T CRY
February 13, 2015
McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Conversation Hearts
Suggested Reads
-
February 17, 2005Rejected York Peppermint Pattie Commercial Blurbs
-
October 9, 2009Principles of Cost-Effective Candy Extraction
-
October 28, 2016List: What Your Favorite Halloween Candy Reveals About Your Political Views
-
May 2, 2014A Single Guy’s Date Story as Interpreted In the Mind of His Married Friend
Trending 🔥
-
January 30, 2019Monologue: I Am a Stryker-X Assault Backpack, and This Airport Lounge Is an Insult
-
September 19, 2017If Bostonians Loved Other Local Institutions the Way They Love Their Local Sports Franchises
-
February 13, 2019Don’t Get Married Before You Live Together
-
February 4, 2019I Am a Pacific Northwest Man on Tinder and I Will Die If I Go Indoors
Recently
-
February 18, 2019Listen Up, Other Holidays, It’s Me, Presidents’ Day
-
February 15, 2019How to Finish Your Dissertation Before the Heat Death and Gradual Extinction of the Universe
-
February 15, 2019List: Six Reasons Why You Should Vote for Me, Old White Man Corpse, in 2020
-
February 15, 2019Spoiler Alerts From the Passenger Scheduled to Sit Beside You On Your Next Flight