Thanks for your interest in the Museum of Civilization. Our founder, Clark Thompson, established the Museum of Civilization in year zero, shortly after society’s collapse due to the Georgia Flu.
All the objects we display come from fellow survivors such as yourself. While we greatly appreciate you trekking through the ruins of Detroit, battling hordes of roving red bandanas, and surviving untold miles of post-pandemic wilderness to deliver us your items—there are several things you can do ahead of time to make sure they meet the standards of our museum.
We are a museum dedicated to preserving pre-pandemic objects as an act of remembrance and a testament to civilization’s achievements.
What we are not:
- A coworking space
- A sex cult
- A public restroom
We gladly accept all manner of machines. But in order to be considered, please observe the following rules:
- All items must be in working condition and include the requisite power cords. (Pro tip: Sort the cords before arriving at Severn City Airport.)
- All items must be presentable and “museum quality.” (If there’s a Monster Energy sticker on your laptop, chances are we won’t accept it.)
- No Samsung products.
NOTE: As of last winter, we’re no longer accepting toasters of any kind. Not because we don’t admire the brilliance of a machine that turns bread crispy, but we already have a ton, and storage space at Severn City Airport is limited.
The library at the Museum of Civilization welcomes great works of literature, but please submit only previously published works. Anything written after year zero will not be considered. Do not, we repeat, do not journey across a post-apocalyptic dystopia to bring us your unproduced screenplay.
NOTE: We don’t need any more copies of The Corrections. There were already a few in the airport before we started the museum. Every week or so, another wayward soul shows up on our doorstep, wild-eyed and starving, with a copy of The Corrections, only to have it rejected. Don’t be this person.
Visual art is accepted on a limited basis.
- Pieces from pre-pandemic history’s major artists are preferred (your Picassos, your Rothkos, etc.).
- Pieces should be professionally framed. (Need help? There’s an abandoned frame store twenty miles south of the museum. Catty-corner to the cannibal den, formerly a Wendy’s.)
- FWIW, our team has been on an abstract expressionism kick recently, not sure why, but so you know.
NOTE: We’re all set on seascapes, poker-playing dogs, and depictions of the Wild West. Furthermore, after a lively internal debate, be aware that novelty caricatures, like the kind you’d find at what were once known as amusement parks, are not art.
Save yourself the hassle and leave the Peloton bike behind. Use it as a barricade, turn it into a booby trap, or rig it up as some kind of power station—just don’t lug it across the virus-ravaged hellscape for us to reject. Some things aren’t worth remembering.
In addition to curating the Museum of Civilization, our curation team is trying to rebuild a functional community in a dangerous, ever-evolving world. Therefore, our response time varies. In a typical month, with no major storms or attacks from marauders, expect a reply within three weeks.
Reasons you might not hear back
- Our quarantine procedure broke down and an infected person was mistakenly admitted into the airport, causing our community to collapse.
- A false prophet and his army of child soldiers infiltrated our community through a traveling theater troupe, reopening old wounds and corroding the fragile peace we’ve established.
- Your donation was a toaster.
Given that there’s no central government and no agreed-upon currency in this post-pandemic nomadic society, the Museum of Civilization does not provide payment at this time.
Curious about an internship? Check back in the spring to see if we survived the winter.
Any additional questions can be directed to Clark Thompson, Severn City Airport, the former state of Michigan.