Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses. Unless they’re these totally amazing @WarbyParker frames I’m wearing in my pic! Starting at just $145 and tons of cute style options. (My fave is the Laurel in tortoiseshell!) #ad #glasses #eyewear

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You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think. That’s why this weekend I unplugged and went hiking with my peeps to get in touch with nature. Check out my yoga pose on top of the mountain! Of course I had my @YETI tumbler to keep me hydrated! Link in bio.

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Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. So obvs I’m OBSESSED with my new yak butter lotion that keeps me looking fresh. GOOD NEWS: Y’all can get a free 2 oz. sample at @YakButterLotion when you use my code UGLYBONE

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I hate writing, I love having written. Especially when I write with @Bic pens! I’m proud to be a Bic Ambassador so I can spread the word to my tribe about their line of slammin’ ink products. Scroll up to catch my Instastory and see my Bic in action! #spon

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Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair. Even better is this @Swarovski Crystals scooter they sent me to try out! Rolling with my homies! How is this my life?? #blessed #spon #influencer

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I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy, which is why my drink of choice at the Algonquin Round Table is always a liter of Tito’s Vodka. Add a splash of tonic and a garnish of acerbic witticisms for a refreshing cocktail that even The Vicious Circle fam will swallow lol. Cheers! (And be sure to cop my custom “WITTY BITCH” tee on Zazzle while they’re still 20% off!!)

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What fresh hell is this? Answer: It’s @Pampers new line of diapers with wicking technology that keeps my munchkins feeling good and keeps this mama from not losing her sh*t! Thanks to @Pampers for including me in their new #FreshHell campaign! #wineoclock #diapers #mama #ad