While you may be writing about a personal experience, it is unclear how that qualifies you to be an authority on the subject.

The central thesis of your tweet, “If pugs could talk, they’d totally have Brooklyn accents,” is fascinating. That perspective, however, would resonate more with readers if it came from a man.

I see that your name is Megan. Are you sure it isn’t spelled “Meghan”? Are you positive?

Sophie’s Choice was a book first. Did you know it was a book first? Sophie’s Choice was a book first.

I’d be more receptive to your assertion that women have a right to be angry if you would just simply soften your tone.

This is not funny and therefore, neither are you.

Reading this joke may have been free, but I still don’t feel like I got my money’s worth.

Your argument about justice is not credible unless you cite John Rawls. Oh, the thesis is a distinctly Rawlsian analysis? Well, that should be in the headline. Nobody actually clicks things. That’s on you.

Your use of emojis is gratuitous to me, a stranger. While we may not have ever met, I recommend you change how you express yourself for my benefit.

Your rhetoric fails to evoke pathos when it is clear that you are undeserving of love.

I can’t help but notice that you’re Jewish. Your argument would be strengthened if you weren’t.

Interesting point about the Mueller investigation. May I suggest that you die in a hole?

You should be aware that your self-portrait photograph is at a suboptimal angle, and you look rather large. You should see a doctor about thyroid issues, you fat witch.