Master my understanding of adolescent brain development.

Train my students what to do if someone invades our sense of security.

Vomit, thinking of the violent state of our schools.

Show compassion for a student experiencing puberty.

Pick up trash or forgotten material.

Sanitize every nook and adolescent-infected cranny.

Provide another student with breakfast.

Embed a growth mindset into my curriculum.

Practice tae kwon do and finish getting my concealed carry permit.

Review those Common Core State Standards.

Comfort a student who cries about homework being used as toilet paper.

Decide what objectives, essential questions, and behavior goals to write on the board.

Prepare and give validation for testing: SAT, ACT, AP, all state mandates.

Look at the testing schedule and, shit, we are in the lab today testing… again.

Go to a staff meeting, an IEP meeting, a collaboration, a time-wasting professional development.

Apply mindfulness and restorative justice in my classroom.

Unlock my gun, you know, just in case.

Console a student related to a break-up or cyberbullying.

Round up pencils and pens for those who show up empty-handed.

Check my eBay and online garage sales accounts.

See if anyone needs me to Uber them away from the school.

Make a profit from one of my side hustles to buy classroom supplies.

Advise this organization on campus and then tutor another.

Counsel a student who missed a streak on Snapchat.

Plan, not my summer vacation but the alignment of my units and standards.

Check my student loans… yep, still there.

Update grades and monitor attendance.

Read a YA book so I can connect and have empathy.

Help approve a new textbook adoption… more money out the school’s door.

Advocate for a student facing identity or mental health issues.

Make sure everything I do is perfect and not upset any student, parent, or admin.

Ensure I’m not one’s excuse for moving to a charter school.

Wonder if my job is in jeopardy or if I’ll be in the same building next year.

Fight for policy and change — do the job of elected officials and parents.

Validate why I picked this profession and defend teachers — we are not to blame.

Understand how culturally relevant pedagogy fits into my class today.

Learn all new technology and integrate it with the textbooks and curriculum.

Concentrate on a student dealing with trauma or gang affiliation.

Consider how to embed critical thinking, metacognition, and retrieval strategies.

Break up a fight because one student looked at another.

Keep my doors open to welcome my students, but lock them in to protect them.

Refresh my content knowledge in the area I teach.

Get peer feedback on this list to remove a disgruntled tone.

And then…