If there’s one thing that Dad hates, it’s asking people for directions. And God forbid he ever figures out how to use Apple Maps! So this Father’s Day, why not get Dad a portable GPS system for him to use in his car or defunct sailboat? A reliable GPS from Garmin or TomTom will last for years and keep Dad on course from the driving range to the middle of the South Pacific Ocean, or wherever he might be after all these months.


In the past, Dad wouldn’t be caught dead in a pair of slippers, let alone the hollowed-out cabin of a second-hand Pearson 365 Ketch. But the times have changed, and you remember hearing Dad complain about his cold feet back in December when he was last seen walking around on dry land. LL Bean makes excellent slippers for men, with great arch support and the ability to fit over your hands if you’re ever struggling to regain feeling in your salt-encrusted fingers. Dad may not show it on his face under his unruly facial hair, but he’s going to love the gift.

Cordless Drill Set

Whether he’s constantly tinkering with home improvement projects or needing to find something to plug that slowly leaking crack in the bottom of the hull, Dad loves working with tools. Upgrade his toolkit by getting Dad a powerful cordless drill with a durable lithium ion battery. Trouble figuring out which one to get, considering nobody has heard from Dad ever since he took that personal vacation to South America? Stop by any Home Depot or Lowes and ask the staff for help! They’ll have great advice on which drill and accessories will last the longest, regardless of whether or not Dad returns to use it.

Coffee Maker

Don’t even BOTHER talking to Dad before he’s had his coffee in the morning. But Dad’s current coffee maker takes so much time to brew a fresh pot, and always leaves grinds in the coffee. A safe Father’s Day gift bet is getting Dad a new Cuisinart coffee maker (avoid getting a Keurig, because Dad probably would never figure out how to use it!). With a built-in timer, Dad will be greeted a piping hot pot of coffee in the morning by the time he makes it downstairs. Also, it floats! That might come in handy if Dad needs to evacuate his boat’s wreckage and fashion himself some sort of life raft!

Steak Dinner

T-bone steak. Medium-rare. Melted butter on top. Dad knows how he likes his steak, and by now the whole family has heard the order so many times they can recite it themselves (and this year, you might need to if Dad never shows up)! A great way to end Father’s Day is with a reservation to a nice restaurant, or, in Dad’s case, a nice steakhouse. The best steakhouses fill up quick, so be sure to make a reservation ASAP! Dad always seems the happiest with a hearty meal in front of him, and honestly, Dad will probably be thrilled with any real food after resorting to eating cardboard yesterday.


The thing that Dad wants most this Father’s Day is to share time with his family, so clear the schedules and spend some quality time with the old man! You could go for a family hike, or go to that museum that Dad’s been grumbling about forever. Heck, maybe even get the search party going again, and this time put some more resources into flying over the Peruvian coast! Deep down, Dad knows that all he wants is to see his family one last time, and who knows, maybe that’s the only thing keeping him going these days!