Question: Who are you wearing?


- How much should we assume your self-worth correlates to the cost/prestige of your gown?

- Would you stand on this spinning platform while we give you a full body scan and tweet your measurements out to the world?

Question: What did you do to get ready for tonight?


- Considering the expected in-depth analysis/coverage/judgement of your overall look… How long has it been since you ingested solid food?

- How many colonics have you had in the past month? Pics?

Question: Are you excited?


- How much did you vomit this morning?

- Was it just a stream of regurgitated green juice and tenuous hope?

Question: What was it like working with ______?


- What can you tell us that we might interpret in a way that pits you against another successful woman?

- How many naked catfights have you had with ______? Pics?

Question: Who do you want to meet tonight?


- Which male celebrity can we photograph you with tonight so that we can run a story about how you are having an affair with him?

- How awkward will it be when you run into _______, considering that we just ran a story last night suggesting that you (a) are having an affair with him, or (b) hate her with the passion of a thousand burning suns?

Question: Any plans to have kids/more kids?


- How is your vaginal health?

- Would you pose for our uterine-cam?

Question: What’s in your purse?


- What is your social security number?

- What is the worst thing you’ve ever done in your life that you’ve never told anyone else about until this very moment on national television?

Question: How do you balance work and family life?


- How are you able to compose yourself and function as though you are a normal human being given that you care for another human being(s)?

- You’re a working mom… Shouldn’t you be crying/screaming/hyperventilating at home right now?