A page on a website on which you comment that your professor takes off points for no reason and omit that you never asked the professor to explain the point deduction:

“Student Ratings.” Rate My Professors, 26 Aug. 2017, 


- - -

An email in which you claim that you were unaware that there was a homework assignment and express you urgent need to be pardoned:

Smith, Joe. “I Didn’t Bother to Include a Subject Line.” Received by

Professor, 28 Aug. 2017. 

- - -

A tweet you sent out during a group discussion on symbolism:

@IHATEENGLISHCLASS. “This shit is stupid.” Twitter, 29 Aug. 2017,

1:58 p.m., twitter.com/IHATEENGLISHCLASS/status.

- - -

A lecture on misplaced modifiers that your professor went on and on and on about even though you got the point an hour ago: 

At the Front of the Room, Lady. “Something about Commas.”

Stupid English Class, 30 Aug. 2017, Classroom Where I Also Have

Math. Pointless Class. 

- - -

A cell phone photograph of the PowerPoint slide on misplaced modifiers that’ll have to do because that bitch won’t post the notes online: 

At the Front of the Room, Bitch. Something Else About Commas. 2017, cell

phone photograph, Joe’s iPhone. 

- - -

A book by a single author that you didn’t buy because that bitch didn’t tell you the course syllabus you left behind in the classroom on the first day stated that it was mandatory to buy the book: 

Shit Out of Luck, I Am. I’m Going to Have to Retake this Class Online Over

the Summer. Course Policies, 2017.