I Hope These Messages In Bottles Are Found In the Same Order That They Were Written

I’ll Ping You

List: Selected Messages from the More Than 600 Posted on Yahoo News in Response to a Story About the University of Wisconsin at Madison Developing an Ultraviolet Laser to Slice Cheese by “Blasting Apart the Molecular Bonds.”

Excerpts From the Collected Answering-Machine Messages of Lyricist Tim Rice

List: Andrew W.K.‘s Inspirational Website Messages or Charles Manson’s Poetry?

McSweeney’s Books: A Brief Interview With Leland de la Durantaye, Author of Hannah Versus the Tree

List: Things Women Are Thankful For In 2018

William Bradford’s Thanksgiving Pyramid Scheme

List: Holiday Cards for Your Racist Relatives