• Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate
McSweeney’s
Internet Tendency
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE

Young reader in your life? Subscribe to Illustoria magazine today. Recognized by The New York Times as a best gift for kids!

June 14, 2017

I Hope These Messages In Bottles Are Found In the Same Order That They Were Written

by Dan Caprera

 

  • Shipwrecked
  • Messages
  • Messages in a Bottle
Please help support our writers and keep our site ad-free by becoming a patron.
Become a patron
Subscribe to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency’s Substack
Subscribe to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency’s Newsletter
➤

Interviews with People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs: Pam Severns, the Vomiting Puppeteer

➤

A Teacher’s List of Monthly Statistics

Suggested Reads
  • April 7, 2025
    Copy and Paste Any of These Out-of-Office Replies for Your Personal Use
    by Dan Kennedy
  • May 23, 2001
    Adventure Week: As Far As The Eye Can See, Part 2 Of 2.
    by Benjamin Jared Gilton
  • April 14, 2004
    Selected Messages from the More Than 600 Posted on Yahoo News in Response to a Story About the University of Wisconsin at Madison Developing an Ultraviolet Laser to Slice Cheese by “Blasting Apart the Molecular Bonds.”
    by Frank Bures
  • June 18, 2004
    Andrew W.K.‘s Inspirational Website Messages or Charles Manson’s Poetry?
    by John McRae
Trending 🔥
  1. May 9, 2025
    Unsung Heroes of Motherhood
    by Wendi Aarons and Johanna Gohmann
  2. May 8, 2025
    An Open Letter to Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Who Thinks My Daughter Is a Tragedy
    by Anaïs Godard
  3. May 9, 2025
    Chicago Pope’s First Changes
    by Stephen Ruddy
  4. April 25, 2025
    This Five-Hundred-Word Bumper Sticker on My Tesla Explains Why I’m Not a Bad Person
    by Lia Woodward and Leah Folta
Recently
  • May 14, 2025
    If FDR Did It, It Can’t Be That Bad
    by Ginny Hogan
  • May 14, 2025
    Thanks for Coming to My Read-Through
    by Brian Koppelman
  • May 13, 2025
    Final Exam Answer Guide for Classics and Contemporary American Culture, Spring Semester 2025
    by Sarah Starr Murphy
  • May 13, 2025
    Hello, I’m New Here
    by Taylor Harris
McSweeney’s is an independent nonprofit publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, Illustoria and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. You can support us today by making a donation.

We are committed to our environment. Each year, we purchase carbon offsets commensurate with our estimate of the impact of the printing, shipping, and travel necessary to publish our books and magazines. We are continually working to minimize our impact on the planet by examining every business decision through a lens of sustainability. To support this effort, or to learn more, please write to executive director Amanda Uhle.
  • Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate
  • About Us
  • Events
  • Email Newsletter
  • Advertise
  • Store Policy
  • Contact Us
  • Internships
  • Submission Guidelines
Copyright © 1998–2025, McSweeney’s Literary Arts Fund.
All Rights Reserved.
Search Magnifying Glass
  • Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • The Believer
  • Donate
 

A year of The Believer, a year of world-class cinema, what could be better?

In honor of the upcoming 150th issue we’ve partnered with our friends at MUBI to have all new and renewed Believer subscriptions this month come with 40% off the cost of an annual membership to their streaming service. Need more? Our core print subscription is $10 off AND all back issues are 30% off to boot! Enjoy. MUBI discount link emailed at checkout. Deal ends June 5.

×