• Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • Donate
McSweeney’s
Internet Tendency
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
McSweeney's Quarterly Subscriptions

“Ever shape-shifting and ambitious, McSweeney’s has redefined what a literary institution can be.”—Catherine Lacey

Subscribe to our multi-award-winning McSweeney’s Quarterly today.

June 14, 2017

I Hope These Messages In Bottles Are Found In the Same Order That They Were Written

by Dan Caprera

 

  • Shipwrecked
  • Messages
  • Messages in a Bottle
As little as $1 a month ($12 a year!) goes a long way towards supporting our editorial staff and contributors while keeping us ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.
Become a patron
Share
Tweet
 
➤

Interviews With People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs: Pam Severns, the Vomiting Puppeteer

➤

A Teacher’s List of Monthly Statistics

Suggested Reads
  • October 17, 2000
    On Message
    by Paul Maliszewski
  • April 12, 2001
    Inspirational Messages Found in Southern California Public High Schools, As Observed by a Substitute Teacher
    by James Nevison
  • May 5, 2017
    Shipwreck Diary of a Content Marketer
    by Bob Vulfov
  • May 23, 2001
    Adventure Week: As Far As The Eye Can See, Part 2 Of 2.
    by Benjamin Jared Gilton
Trending 🔥
  1. February 19, 2021
    I’m a Short Afternoon Walk and You’re Putting Way Too Much Pressure on Me
    by Emily Delaney
  2. February 22, 2021
    The UX on this Small Child Is Terrible
    by Leslie Ylinen
  3. February 24, 2021
    I Oppose the Democrats’ Plan to Lower Child Poverty. If Kids Want to Eat, They Should Work In Filthy Factories Like They Did in the Good Old Days
    by Rebecca Saltzman
  4. March 4, 2021
    Moms: The Vacation of Your Dreams Awaits You in This Dentist’s Chair
    by Devorah Blachor
Recently
  • March 5, 2021
    Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, by Sophocles
    by Weston Morrow
  • March 5, 2021
    I Am a Neanderthal and I Resent Being Compared to Incompetent Governors
    by Anna Pook
  • March 5, 2021
    Why I’m Selling My 4-Bed, 3-Bath, 37-Moving-Bookcase Home
    by Madeline Goetz and Jack Sentell
  • March 4, 2021
    Moms: The Vacation of Your Dreams Awaits You in This Dentist’s Chair
    by Devorah Blachor
McSweeney’s is an independent nonprofit publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, Illustoria and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. You can support us today by making a donation.
  • Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • Donate
  • About Us
  • Events
  • Email Newsletter
  • Advertise
  • Store Policy
  • Contact Us
  • Internships
  • Submission Guidelines
Copyright © 1998–2021, McSweeney’s Publishing LLC.
All Rights Reserved.
  • Internet Tendency
  • The Store
  • Books Division
  • Quarterly Concern
  • Donate
 

Spilt Milk is out now

“Spilt Milk is current, self-examining, honest, insightful, biting, and funny. Essentially, a perfect book.”—Jesse Eisenberg. Order today.

×