“The Lottery”
by Shirley Jackson

The morning of June 27th was clear and sunny, with the fresh warmth of a full-summer day; the flowers were blossoming profusely and the grass was richly green. The people of the village began to gather in the square to walk their dogs. They walked their dogs all morning and felt great. “Was there something else going on today?” Tessie wondered. “Oh, would you look at that little loaf wearing a tiny hat! It thinks it’s people!”

Great Expectations
by Charles Dickens

“Love her, love her, love her! Hear me, Pip! I adopted her to be loved. I bred her and educated her to be loved. My fur baby helped me through a really tough relationship thing. I say there’s no problem you can’t solve with a dog. Here, hold this one.”

Miss Havisham convinced me, and I went home with a puppy from her beagle rescue.

“The Raven”
by Edgar Allen Poe

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
“Surely,” said I, “Surely that is something — oh! Look, it’s my sweet boy!
Hello! Aww, you’ve got your big toy!” And his nails clicked on the floor — 
“Someone needs the clippers!” said I, as he clicked across the floor; — 
Clickin’ doggo, nothing more.

King Lear
by William Shakespeare


Here I disclaim all my paternal care,

Propinquity and property of blood,

And as a stranger to my heart and me

Hold thee, from this, for ever.


Alas, my good lord—

Regard but first these pupperinos.


How, how! Such little chonkers! Tray, Blanch, and
Sweet-heart, 12/10 would boop all these round bois!

[Exeunt, giggling gleefully]

The Catcher in the Rye
by J. D. Salinger

If you sat around there long enough and heard all the phonies applauding and all, you got to hate everybody in the world. That’s the way I used to think, anyway, before I found Pupcake here. Then I realized that dogs don’t judge, so why should I? Now I just want to be the person my dog thinks I am. I saw that on a bumper sticker. Didn’t I, girl? Yes! Yes, I did! Now, does Daddy’s little angel want to go on the carousel?

War and Peace
by Leo Tolstoy

“Well, Prince, I warn you, if you don’t tell me that this means war,  I will have nothing more to do with you,” said Anna Pávlovna.

“Oh, didn’t you hear?” said Prince Vasíli. “Napoleon got a new dog, and now he’s not interested in doing us a conquer . All he wants to do is sit around and watch his woofer’s tiny blops.”

“What kind of dog?”


“Shut up, I love corgis!”

Everyone in Russia was fine. Some of them got corgis.

“Good Country People”
by Flannery O’Connor

“Couldn’t we go on a picnic tomorrow? Say yes, Hulga,” the Bible salesman said and gave her a dying look as if he felt his insides about to drop out of him.

“Mmm, I’m good,” Hulga said as she ignored him and gave her little Chompers many good scritches. Both of Hulga’s legs remained exactly where they belonged.

Sense and Sensibility
by Jane Austen

Willoughby’s manly beauty and more than common gracefulness were equal to what Marianne’s fancy had ever drawn for the hero of a favourite story. However, her pocket Maltese, Lord Fancypaws, kept borking angrily at the gentleman. “Dogs are heckin’ good judges of character,” she told herself. “Perhaps I should keep my distance from Mr. Willoughby. He’s cute, but he also seems like drama.”

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf
by Edward Albee

MARTHA: C’mon in, kids… give your coats and stuff to sour-puss.

NICK: Well, now, perhaps we shouldn’t have come…

HONEY: Yes… it is late, and… oh my goodness, who is this precious?

GEORGE: Oh, that’s our Jellybean.

NICK: What is he, a Pomeranian?

MARTHA: Half Pom, half Shih Tzu. They’re called Shiranians. He’s pretty much our son.

HONEY: Aww, you can’t even see his eyes through all that flooff!

[They have a normal evening.]