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All posts tagged
pets
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May 5, 2022I Am Your Marxist Hamster, and You, Land-Owning Pig, Are the Bourgeoisie
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April 21, 2022Popular Pets, Ranked by How Much They Will Disrupt Your Sex Life
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October 29, 2021What the Cat Will Do
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October 5, 2021Things My Dog Says That Make Me Regret Training Him to Talk with Buttons
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June 15, 2021We Are Not a Pet Store — We Are Bedrock’s Premier Appliance Retailer
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April 27, 2021The Cute Dog in This Gritty Drama Knows It’s Toast
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December 7, 2020If Famous Literary Characters Were Given Very Good Doggos
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October 25, 2019I Am Your Pug and I Have Heard the Call of the Wild
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August 24, 2018Your $6,000 Purebred Dog Comes With a Few Minor Quirks
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August 8, 2018I am the Composer of Veterinarian Hold Music
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May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
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May 18, 2022A Passenger’s One-Star Review of the Trolley Ride from the Trolley Problem
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November 13, 2018If People Talked to Other Professionals the Way They Talk to Teachers
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May 13, 2022A Modest Proposal for Solving the Baby Formula Shortage
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May 25, 2022Places to Avoid While We Continue to Wait for Lawmakers to Enact Meaningful Gun Control Legislation
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May 24, 2022A User Manual for Your New Home Alarm System, D.O.G.
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May 24, 2022Scarlet Letter
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May 24, 2022An Open Letter to Women’s Magazines Who Promote Body Positivity with Totally Not Photoshopped Images of Naked Celebrities